Kanda Candy
by La Lune de Fraise
Summary: Mmm, candy. What's better than this delicious, smile-inducing treat? One thing: the sweet lemony goodness of some great yaoi! When Kanda and Allen go to Hershey Park- blame Komui, the idiot- there'll be candy and unexpected love galore! Yullen PleaseR
1. Komui Gets a Clue

Hi everyone! This is La Lune de Fraise's first attempt at a fan-fiction including humor and romance in it… Oh, who is she to fool; this is only her second fic ever! She's like a little kid who still drinks from those sippy cup thingamajiggers even though she's teething though not quite potty trained. O.o" That was quite strange. Anyways, Read & Review!

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"What in the name of my Lenalee's perfect coffee is going on here?!" Supervisor Komui Lee turned an interesting collection of colors including violent violet and crazy cerulean before growing white as a sheet and falling to his knees.

No, another brigade of rogue Akuma wasn't here to destroy the Black Order Headquarters; that happened last week. No, Hevlaska hadn't sensed another exorcist in danger of falling to a critical point with his Innocence. And _no_, Lenalee did _not_ acquire a boyfriend, thank the heavens. (If she ever did, her good ol' big bro would take a dental drill and slowly scrap of layer, upon layer of skin until the bastard who even dared to set foot within a mile radius of his precious sister was a mess, bloody- Uh, you get the picture.)

What was happening in the cafeteria of the Order was even more mind-boggling to Komui than realizing that the Science Department needed-pfft- _sleep_ to operate. Heh, Reever was getting a pay deduction after all. _Garr_, though Komui angrily, slapping his face with gusto, _must. Look. Miracle. In. Its. Face. Ooh, Lenalee's coming down! Time for breakfast, my honey. Would you like toast? Oh, of course not, you had that yesterday with some Nutella…_

Obviously, Komui wouldn't, or rather, couldn't focus on something for over thirty seconds without having a seizure or getting distracted, so I as the great Narrator who knows all shall continue the story. The sight that had left Komui so darn flabbergasted was this: Allen Walker, the Order's one and only sweet natured, white-haired, cursed exorcist and Kanda Yu, the Order's most disagreeable, bipolar, insanely vicious, samurai exorcist… were _talking_. Not only that, they'd been exchanging small talk for over _ten friggin' minutes_ without a single chair exploding, bystander getting injured, or bowl of tempura soba being violated. And- and was that a _smile_ on Kanda's face? Everyone knows that every time Kanda smiles a puppy dies! D-don't they?

Oblivious to the hemorrhages and brain damage Supervisor Komui was attaining thanks to their so-called peacefulness, Kanda and Allen continued their conversation, which wasn't as peaceful as it seemed. In fact, nothing at all had changed between the two bitter best-enemies. Moreover, you might say their relationship had soured even further. Both teens were swearing and muttering insults colorfully in two different languages, Japanese and English, albeit quietly.

"You stupid girly-man, don't think I can't understand what you're saying!" Allen paused for a moment. _Damn, I really can't understand what he's saying…_

Kanda swore fluently under his breath and then proceeded to call Allen an, "old-man Moyashi with a fucking bottomless pit for a stomach and shitty emotions," also adding in, "touch my soba and you die" in three different dialects.

Komui refused to take this lack of fighting between Allen and Kanda any longer so he brain-stormed and strained for an idea to get the boys up and in the ring once more. With the sound of a drain pipe suddenly being unclogged, Komui had a brilliant idea. What if, just _what if_ Allen and Kanda weren't really talking nicely right now? _Oh, good job, Supervisor,_ Komui applauded loudly and patted himself on the back, all the while Jerry shaking his head and sighing. _You're in the game now! _Allen and Kanda didn't usually get along, so if they were confined to a place by themselves for a while, then naturally they'd snap, start exchanging fists instead of chitchat, and then at that crucial peak, Komui would snatch them back to Headquarters, angrier at each other than ever! _You're a genius, doll! A genius! _

_--_

This fic is rated T for what's hopefully to come. And, mark my words, it will come! I think… Alright, I'm shutting up now. XP


	2. Let's Go to Hershey Park!

Since it _is _summer after all, I've gotten to update three times! Yay! I'm so incredibly glad school's over… for now. ;-;

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"Kanda! Allen!" Komui chirped with lunacy, causing everyone in the entire cafeteria, including the two aforementioned, shiver and suddenly feel the need to grab a weapon or activate their Innocence. Kanda stopped swearing in Japanese for a moment, and then cursed quickly in English.

"Fuck, this can't be good…" Kanda put his hand on the hilt of Mugen, ready to slice and dice at any time. Allen secretly seconded this judgment, but then beat himself up mentally for agreeing with Kanda.

"In my office! And don't be late, 'cause I've got a _surprise_ for you!" Komui then proceeded to dance up the stairs to his lair like an extremely masculine prima donna ballerina on a coffee high.

"There goes my weekend," muttered Allen sadly, for he'd just come back from a mission late last night and was actually quite exhausted. The glare Kanda shot at him cured him of those feelings immediately. _God, if you're there, I think you made a bit of a mistake making Kanda a man. It's kind of obvious that he suffers from permanent PMS… _

"Come on, stupid Moyashi." Allen drifted slowly from his reverie, exhaling like a man does at a horse race when he realizes he bet his house _again_ on the horse that just had to buck its jockey at the last minute and run like hell from the stadium.

But with Komui, you really never knew what he had in store for you, so you'd better hurry if you valued you're life. His moods changed faster than Kanda's, which was nearly downright impossible. Anyhow, the two teens made their way to the Supervisor's office, waded through a sea of paper in which Allen cried, "My boot! Something's got my boot!" And finally, sans one shoe, they plopped onto the squashy green couch that really wasn't so squashy and comfortable, because, you see, it was also covered in paper.

"Hello. Hello. Hello." Komui giggled shrilly, imitating Jim Carrey when he acted as Count Olaf. Needless to say, this was absolutely terrifying. Even the stoic samurai exorcist had to struggle to resist the shudders that ran down his spine.

"What the hell do you want, Komui?" Kanda growled, scowling mightily, "Is it a mission?"

"No, no, no! Of course not, Kanda!" Komui, "Err, would you wake Allen up? He seems to have passed out."

Kanda slapped Allen hard in the face, and the cursed youth woke up immediately. "Gahhh! Kanda! The Komurins and coming! The Komurins are coming!" Realizing everyone was staring at him, he coughed, and with a small, "Excuse me," the meeting was resumed.

"Today I noticed some very peculiar behavior in the cafeteria between Mr. Kanda and Mr. Walker," Komui began slowly, "It really hurt me to see you two acting so oddly. Actually, the sight was completely scarring to my mentality. So, now I am going to send you two on a Journey of Recovery. You two will agree on a place to go together, and I shall send you there, providing both housing and some allowance for your needs. Is there any specific place you'd like to go?"

Kanda stopped for a moment and groaned, "It's not a mission." Then he hissed, "What the fuck are you talking about, Komui? I'm not going anywhere with Moyashi that doesn't have a purpose."

"Of course it has a purpose, Kanda! It's a _Journey_ of _Recovery_. You two are going to _recover_." Komui spoke slowly as if the Japanese teen was mentally challenged, but that only irritated the long-haired boy even more.

"I'm an exorcist, for God's sake! I'm not some messed up person at therapy or a crack-addict at rehab!" Kanda began pulling out Mugen threateningly.

"I am the Supervisor!" Komui squeaked, hiding on his desk. _Oh dear, the situation's even worse than I thought! Kanda's not even attacking Allen with Mugen at all! Thank goodness I thought of this plan. I need to get them angry at each other, not me! _

Allen sat up straight, "Komui, I don't need this, either! I really would not like to go on a trip with Kanda if it's meaningless. I mean, I see enough of him at the Order."

Komui leapt up and dashed to Allen, taking him by the shoulders and then sobbing repeatedly, tears staining the high-quality black cloth of Allen's uniform. _What has Kanda been doing to Allen?! Something very kinky, I assume, for they "see enough" of each other as is. Are they LOVERS?? And my plan's not meaningless! Komui angry! Komui very angry! Hmph, I was right after all. The boys need this trip. Allen and Kanda must hate each other!!_

As Komui thumped his chest with passion, crying a flood, Allen shrieked. "Disgusting! Revolting! Ohmygod, EWWW!!"

"Get off, both of you!" Kanda roared, tearing Komui off Allen and then shouting in his face, "What's wrong with you?"

Komui interpreted this as a sign of possessiveness. "YOU ARE NOT CHOOSING THE DESTINATION!" he screamed in a high pitched voice, "AAAAAAllen! Where do you want to go?"

Allen gripped his hair tightly. Komui was obviously not going to budge. _Somewhere I can have fun… Somewhere with lots and lots of food… Damn, I want something sweet right now. Hmm…_

"Ah, I've got it!" said Allen, raising his fist in a sign of victory, "Let's go to Hershey Park!"

--

It's not that Komui doesn't want Allen and Kanda to be a couple. It's just that he finds the sight of them _cooperating_ really, really, traumatic. Plus Allen said his plan was meaningless. XP


	3. Komui Plus Darts Equals Danger

Wow, that's so weird… It was pouring rain, and I mean _pouring_ buckets of rain for about five minutes straight. And then it stopped. O.O"

--

"You've got to be kidding me," Kanda snapped, dropping Komui, whom he'd begun to strangle, to the floor with a sound reminiscent of an elephant collapsing. "Hershey Park? Are you a little kid?"

"M-m-my spine…" Moaned Komui before falling into a comatose state in which one drools a great deal and eats a lot but never seems to gain weight. How lucky for him.

"Che. That's so much better." Kanda whipped his hair back and started to leave. Suddenly, soundlessly, his head collided with the side of a clip-board. He narrowed his eyes, "Lenalee."

"Kanda! What did you do to my brother? Aw, he's getting all his papers dirty. You know I hate cleaning up after him." Lenalee Lee ran a hand through short locks, fixing a hard stare and a pout on the samurai.

Kanda coughed and then dragged- no, threw is a better word- Komui brusquely onto the sofa besides Allen, who went "meep!" Lenalee smiled, satisfied now, and then asked Allen what was going on.

"Oh! Lenalee, you've got to get us out of this mess Komui made! He wants Kanda and me to go on a trip together, but we really don't want to."

"Come on Allen, other missions with Kanda haven't been that bad. You've even worked together prety well to get rid of Akuma." Lenalee shook her finger, hands on her hips.

"Hmph." It was true that the long-haired "girly-man" _could_ incite Allen into fighting his best, as well as pressure him into keeping his focus during particularly difficult battles. And Allen knew that without Kanda at the time of his first battle with the innocence hidden in Lala, he probably wouldn't have survived. The samurai was a fine companion during scrimages, but in real life, he was a different story.

"Kanda's jerk, he insults me, he calls me Moyashi all the time even though I'm not that short, he has a poo-poo mouth, he swishes his hair, he's really feminine, he eats so much freaking soba he's going to turn into a pile of noodles one day," Allen went on and on, oblivious to the dangers around him. A angry aura infiltrated the room, and Lenalee stopped giggling long enough to point behind him and float into mid-air on her dark boots. She best get away from the Attack of the Mutant Kanda.

Still spouting out an endless list of flaws, Allen took another breath to speak. A blow-dart hit is neck, seemingly out of mid-air. Immediately, the cursed boy blacked out. Kanda whirled around, Mugen out, eye darting every which way to locate the danger. He heard a sinister cackle, the sound of drool being wiped from moist lips, and trembled slightly regardless of his attempts not to. In that moment of weakness, another dart came near him and implanted itself firmly in his neck, and he lost consciousness as well.

Komui emerged, panting, from beneath the sea of paper, post-its covering him like some kind of oh-so-sick neon bright camouflage. In one hand he clutched a tube filled with tranquilizer darts. In the other he had over-seas forms already filled out. "Lenalee, dear, could you please go to Allen and Kanda's rooms to get some clothes for them? One or two changes will do. Then give the clothes to Reever and tell him to come and get 'em right after so they can board a ship." Komui smiled at his sister.

"Err… Brother I'm not sure what you're doing is right… But I _am_ interested in how this'll turn out, so I suppose I will." The cute girl turned, and said over her shoulder, "But this is the only time I'll do this for you!"

_Aw… what an adorable, lovely, precious sister I have_, Komui thought with relish. "Now, onto the life ruining!" He cheered, marching around his office and blowing darts at random until one hit him and he unceremoniously fell into a comatose state once more.

--

Heh, heh. The craziness of idiot Komui.


	4. Sakura and Ivory Soap

More and more updates… Hee, hee, hee. Oh god, I sound psychotic. XP

--

Allen woke up rocking. And no, not the guitar and drums and crazy hair color and studs in all the wrong places kind of rocking, but the kind that induces nausea. We know what kind of eater Allen is. We know how much food he can pack into that black hole of a stomach. Hell, Lavi, Kanda, Komui, Lenalee, even the entire Order and Allen _himself_ knows. But the poor white-haired exorcist had absolutely no idea he'd puke _this much_.

"Blargh!!" went Allen onto the nearest place not near _him_ he could. Faintly, he could hear someone screaming bloody murder, but till he got everything out of his system, he was incoherent and ill. After what seemed like ages, Allen finally was comfortable enough to say, "Ugh." He wiped his mouth carefully on his sleeve, and began looking around to see where he was.

He resided in a fair-sized cabin with two beds, and by the room's movements, he judged they were on a ship. _Hmm, the accommodations are pretty nice_, thought Allen. He noticed two suitcases near the door. Wait a minute. Allen equals one. Allen only has one suitcase. So there only should be one suitcase; Allen's. Then everything came back to him in a rush. _Oh crapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrapcrap_. Allen looked up and saw Mugen extended over the distance between the two beds and a twitching Kanda glaring very scarily at him. "You. Die. Now!!" Screamed the samurai exorcist. The room was never the same again.

It turned out that Allen had thrown up enough to cover nearly nine square feet's worth of flooring, and the reason Kanda was so angry was, well, this:

"You fucking vomited all over my shoes!" Kanda was shaking with rage.

"If it makes you feel better, err, I ruined my shoes too?" Allen clenched his blankets and looked down.

"It smells God awful in here! What'd you eat? Wait! No, I really don't want to find out." Kanda tried not to breathe. _I have to get rid of that Moyashi one way or the other. Hmmm, I could push him off the boat; that idea's still open._ "How the hell are we getting out of this room if he can't step on the floor?!"

"That was a very smart question, Kanda, why, here's a treat. Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?" Allen was getting slightly delirious, and began giggling like a school girl who just saw a nerd fall into a puddle after getting an A+ on a test, whereas said school girl only got an F. To further elaborate, Allen's laughter sounded like a rooster on a corn high, and Kanda decided at once he had to escape this hell-hole.

With some careful treading, Kanda was able to use Mugen to pull Allen's suitcase closer to the beds as a stepping stone, although not without spitefully slicing off the handle. He was at the door, standing on the case, just by the handel, when he noticed the eerie silence in the room. It was quiet, yet too quiet. For by this time, Allen had gotten sicker. _I'm... so dizzy,_ he thought, _everything's pretty blurry to me...urgh, I can't move from this spot. Damn, Kanda was right, this room reeks... _

Suddenly Allen felt strong arms sliding under him, the faintest scent of sakura blossoms and ivory soap. He noted silky strands brushing his cheek and making his heart flutter, as well as a cool hand gently sliding onto his forehead. _Mmm, that's so nice. Stay there, ahh, yes_. Suddenly he noted that he was being hoisted up, as though he were light as air. He heard soft footsteps, the creak of a doorknob, and then all was light.

Allen opened his eyes to bright sunshine and wonderfully fresh sea air slightly tinged with the aroma of salt and marine life. He was on deck a fairly large ship, and discerned the captain was standing before him by his large, highly decorated hat. He moaned briefly before settling into a warm chest- A WARM CHEST?!

"A passenger has fallen ill." Allen gasped; he was in the arms of no one other than Kanda himself, a Kanda who was _concerned_, actually _concerned _about his well-being?! The appocalypse! The appocalypse! No, Allen'd never be able to eat food again! And if he couldn't eat, then he'd rather die. Oh yes, and there were Akuma too. Those scary things. Yes.

"I-I-I see you're e-exorcists," stuttered the captain. He harrumphed loudly as if to regain his pride, adding rather nastily, "So you guys get sick, eh? Never woulda thought." He looked at Kanda expectantly, waiting for an answer.

Kanda marched up to the captain until their noses were almost touching, "Quit the small talk. Like I said, we've got an _ill passenger _on deck. Where is the Med Center?" The long-haired teen was quite a deal taller than the captain, who, in addition to being short was also quite rotund, and got the message immediately.

"R-right away, Mister Exorcist! It's on the l-lower d-deck, directly under h-h-here! I'll be glad to be y-your guide, sir! D-do you need anything, m-medicine, anything, sir?" The captain was more nervous than ever, but Kanda shut him up with an arctic glare.

"I'll deal with it myself." And on that note, in the arms of a disgruntled samurai, Allen was whisked away.

--

Alright! Go Kanda! Finally stepping up... but what'll happen next? Evil grin XP


	5. Cookie Likes Them Girls Dirty

It's only been summer vacation for a while, but KC is the only fun thing I have to do currently. Whatever! Find fun in unexpected places!

--

If Kanda had acted like he truly cared about the state of Allen's health before, he sure was a damn good actor. Upon arriving at the Med Center, he plopped Allen roughly into a chair after calling for a doctor and then walked to the farthest part of the room from the sick boy, which was the corner. He leaned against the wall, Mugen in one hand, long legs crossed. Allen suddenly felt very self-conscious, and inspected his clothing. He was wearing what he wore yesterday, and was thankful that no vomit had gotten onto his exorcist uniform. He looked up and saw Kanda turn away sharply. Allen laughed inwardly, _Kanda was staring at me, and he hasn't changed either. _The pale youth didn't know why this fact made him feel just a bit warm inside.

"Hello, sirs." A petite yet full-figured woman with immensely curly hair entered the room. "You must be Mr. Allen Walker, correct? My name is Dr. Marstein. Mr. Kanda has informed me you vomited quite a bit this morning. How are you feeling?"

"Err, I'm quite alright now," Allen began slowly, wondering why Kanda wouldn't make eye contact with him, "But I just felt really nauseous when I woke up. Yesterday I was fine." Odd, he couldn't remember anything that happened the day before other than he'd been talking with Kanda, then talking with Komui, and then being hit by a- Oh. Komui. Was so gonna get it.

"Did you eat anything you don't normally eat or something questionable prior to boarding?" Allen could tell Dr. Marstein was scared by his scar, as well as his white hair. He didn't feel like explaining anything and hid his left hand quickly.

"No, nothing. I actually think it was just sea-sickness, that's all." Dr. Marstein nodded; Allen didn't need any medicine. Then she began to rant about the 666 dangers (EVERYONE knows) about being on a ship before you get the good ol' sea legs. Allen felt himself getting woozy again from the mentions of painful death and terrible increase in acne; even Kanda rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"HOLY SHIT, LOOK AT CABIN 707, THERE'S PUKE AAALL OVER!! THIS'LL TAKE AGES AND AGES AND AGES AND AGES..." A member of the cleaning crew came running past the Med Center, mop and spray bottle of orange-scented Fantastik in hand. Allen went a bright, bright red.

"Uhh, erm, thank you very much for your time but I'm totally fine now so I'm going to excuse myself and leave!" Allen rushed to the corner, grabbing Kanda hastily and dragging him from the room. As they were running, Allen kept muttering about the indecencies of people these days, and how back in the day young hooligans were put in their place. When the two finally stopped, they were on the bottom level, outside the cafeteria. Allen's stomach growled, and he gripped Kanda harder, ignoring the black-haired teen's annoyed comments. Inside, Allen ordered several stacks of pancakes since it was still morning, although late.

"That's proposterous, sonny boy!" Guffawed the cook, adjusting his eyepatch and slapping his wooden stump of a left leg, "No one can finish twenty-three stacks o' pancakes! You crazy, or somethin'?" Allen fixed him with a serious cough.

"If I do, then can you give me twenty more?" The cook boomed raucous laughter even harder, threatening to fall over into a frying pail of batter. (_Pity he didn't_, thought Kanda, who was following this thought sequence.)

"Sure, kid, sure! Whatever ya want! 'Cept they'll be raspberry, 'cause no one really likes that flavor and I can't just give ya all of another. Got a surplus o' raspberries, raspberries! Haw-haw!" Allen accepted his food graciously, which pleased the cook.

"Kanda, I'll wait for you by table four, alright?" All he got was an annoyed "che," but even that made him feel happier. _Who the hell would have thought I'd actually be having a fair time with Kanda on a boat? Speaking of which... Where does this boat go? Crap, don't tell me... _Allen was worried for a moment. _Oh well, I'd better finish these pancakes first._

Meanwhile, by the food counter, things weren't going so smoothly.

"You wan' sobo, sweetheart? Wha's sobo?" The cook scratched his head.

"No! You idiot! It's _soba_. Japanese noodles! Can't you even understand that?" Kanda was spitting mad. Nothing got between him and soba! Nothing!

"You wan' NOODLES fer breakfast, honey? You crazy? Gotta eat something, uh, breakfasty. Ya know, milk, cereal, paaaancakes."

"Sweetheart?! HONEY?? DO YOU HAVE SHIT FOR BRAINS??" Kanda's eyes narrowed dangerously, "Are you fucking trying to hit on me, old man?"

The cook swallowed, a blush showing on his wrinkly, liverspotted cheeks, "Well, teh be honest, ain't so many young girls pretty as you been on board recently. An' you know old cookie likes them girls _dirty._"

"Cookie" just lost himself his right leg.

Over at table four, Allen was just finishing his twenty-third plate of food. "Hmph. Why do they always make portions so small? Seven pancakes for a serving is hardly a lot. I better hope this is an eat-all-you-want kind of place."

Kanda came out with one plate of plain toast, and twenty dishes of pancakes all balanced on one hand. In the other, he held a glass of orange juice. He noticed Allen getting up to get more, and hurriedly said, "Moyashi, just eat these."

"Why, Kanda? And don't call me Moyashi." Kanda flicked his hair back gracefully.

"Trust me. Just don't. And anyway, I got your food for you." Allen felt a surge of joy. _Kanda must still be suffering from those darts of Komui's, otherwise he'd never be so nice to me_, he thought. Smiling, he'd enjoy it as much as he could.

"Thanks."

--

You're right, Allen! Kanda must still be on a drug high! Or is he? XP


	6. Long Live the Suitcase Fairy!

Oops. After reading many a fanfiction, I've realized that they have what KC does not. No, I don't mean _talent_ (although I could use some of that too) but a DISCLAIMER. It's shocking. I know. So anyways, here goes:

**SUPER-TO-THE-EXTREME DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN D. GRAY MAN, BECAUSE IT BELONGS TO KATSURA HOSHINO-SENSEI. **Phew.

--

After finishing their rather belated and traumatic breakfast, Kanda and Allen decided to leave the cafeteria as soon as possible, for too very specific reasons: the noises Allen issued when eating his fortieth plate of pancakes caused a stander-by beside table 4 to call the ambulance. After many screamings of "he's gonna die! he's gonna die!" and "it's called an _appetite_, you dolt!" the matter was solved and the trip to the emergency room was canceled. Not that it stopped others from staring, but then again, not much stifles the human curiosity. Ask Lavi, the fiendish bunny, himself.

The second reason that being in the cafeteria had grown very uncomfortable was the fact that Kanda, after being hit on by the cook, decided to hack off his leg. No, not his real leg, but his wooden one. Kanda, despite being excessively violent, still has principles! He's not a samurai for nothing. Anyhow, the atmosphere was like being on a crowded train with a hobo who is asking for money but no one really wants to give him money, much less _go near _him, and everyone's thinking to the person next to them, "Go on, go on, give him some cash so he can leave!" But, obviously, no one does, and the hobo stays on til the next stop, though people don't know he lives on the train.

"Err, Kanda, it's been two days since we've had a shower. I think our rooms might have one, so..." Allen began slowly, pondering whether or not he should talk to the long-haired teen who'd been in a foul mood. Not that it was unusual; Allen just had some more concern for Kanda at this point.

"Che. That's fine, Moyashi. Let's go." Kanda stood up, much to the pleasure of Allen, and stopped. "But the floor's covered in-" Kanda shook his head. No need to remind himself of that horrible memory. "Just... Come on, Moyashi."

_Oh! Kanda cares about my feelings! He decided not to mention me puking so I wouldn't get embarrassed_. Allen felt he'd turn a bit red at this point, so he quickly agreed and they began their ascent to the upper deck. The sight that greeted them was definitely not what they were looking for.

A bright, neon yellow banner was pasted across the door of the cabin, saying in huge letters, "DANGER: TOXIC WASTE," over and over again. Outside, a pimple-laced boy with dirty blond hair stood guarding two suitcases, one missing a handle. "Are you guys Misters Allen Walker and- Heh, wait a minute, lemme do this, " the boy straightened up and said in the voice of a mafia gangster, "You Yuu Kanda?" Then he proceeded to laugh as though it were the most freaking hilarious thing in the world. Which it wasn't, believe me, it wasn't.

Five minutes later, after "talking" to the lad, Allen and Kanda left for a new cabin, this time a level lower. The captain happened to be walking by and saluted them hastily. Then he heard muffled screaming coming from the side of the ship; the boy who was with the suitcases had been bound and gagged with the yellow cloth, then cast overboard. A thin ribbon attached the the main mast was his only hopes of survival. One which Kanda shaved to the last fiber.

Back at the new cabin, Allen and Kanda became even more distressed than before.

"What the hell is this in my suitcase?!" Allen's suitcase, being without a handle, fell open first. "Oh. My. God. It looks like something a freaking male prostitute would wear!" He held up a pair of insanely tight looking black bondage pants with studs and a few light chains, and a shirt that wasn't really a shirt. Actually, it was just five strips of leather sewed together. When Allen reached into his case again, he nearly fainted. Covering his eyes, he held up a dog collar and handcuffs.

"Holy crap, that's pretty bad." Kanda smirked, looking at the pathetic scene of Allen crying while holding a dog collar. But that smile was literally ripped off his face when he saw what was in his suitcase. "Oh my fucking god!!"

In the case was a scandalously short plaid miniskirt, fishnet stockings, an almost see-through tank top, and- Kanda nearly blew his top at this- one lacy, pink bra. He could barely think straight now, and fell to his knees just as Allen was doing, paralyzed with both rage and disbelief. _Screw **That Man **who gave me this tattoo that sucks my life from me... Komui is fucking first on my hit list!!_

"Wait! Kanda! I've found something normal!" Allen's eye were round as saucers, and he quickly held up his prize: One black sweater. And although it was meant to show off a figure, it was nothing like those prostitute pants. Allen could have cried again at that point, and he actually did when he saw the handcuffs.

Immediately, Kanda dug into his suitcase with fervor. _Pleasepleasepleaseplease_, he thought heart racing. At last, yes! Yes! What was this?! Kanda hands shook as he took out a wad of cash, American dollars, tucked inside the bra. _Damn, this better not be Lenalee's_, thought Kanda, blushing slightly.

Allen's eyes popped even more as Kanda held up the money an said in a hoarse voice, "T-ten thousand dollars."

"No way! Do you think Komui gave it to us?" Allen scoots closer to Kanda, and is surprised when the samurai doesn't move away.

"Most likely. But he's probably just fucking around with us about the clothing." Kanda sighed. "Now, about that shower..."

Back home at the Black Order, Komui Lee felt a tinge of electricity. He was at his desk, procrastinating as usual, when he was suddenly struck by thoughts of boys dangling off the sides of ships and dog collars. "That's odd." Komui took out his trust dart tube and was about to vent stress par the usual but at that moment, Lenalee chose to enter.

"Brother! I've got your coffee right here." Lenalee zoomed over, handing him his prized bunny cup filled with scorching liquid. "Oh, and by the way, I was going to ask you why the clothes I got for Allen and Kanda never went into their suitcases. I wondered about that all night."

_Oh! Lenalee is such a smart, smart girl! Darn it, I had to get her out of the room while I got the prostitute wear ready. Aww, Lenalee asking questions is so c-u-t-e!! _"A-hem," began Komui, quickly accepting the coffee so that Lenalee wouldn't be able to throw it at him if she was angry, "Well, you see, my plan is to make Allen and Kanda enemies again. So, I created a fissure in their trip by giving them... interesting clothing to wear. Allen has a normal article of apparel, which he can don immediately, but Kanda has more of... a long-term endowment. They'd give each other hell choosing what to-" _Thonk!_

Lenalee had thrown a book at her brother. "You can't be serious! Do they even have _anything_ in their suitcases?"

Komui massaged his nose, adjusting his beret accordingly. "Now, now, dear. Big brother has got to get to work now! Off you go! Toodles, My Lenalee!" The Supervisor grabbed a random book haphazardly and scribbling in it with an ink pen. It would have been more convincing if there weren't words _already _printed on the pages.

Shaking her head, the Asian girl left, inwardly giggling at the predicament the white-haired exorcist and the samurai were in.

--

Heh heh! I wonder who'll get what to wear... XP


	7. Memories of Miss Luck

Oh. My. God. La Lune de Fraise is majorly pissed off right now. Chapter 7, my longest chapter EVER, just got scrambled into some encoding disaster. Why does that happen?? The chapter where I finally got stuff moving. I'll just make the second draft even better.

--

Allen sat on the immaculately clean floor of the new cabin, which was actually an exact replica of the first. Kanda paced in circles around him, wracking his brain for a solution to the huge problem they were in.

"Kanda, are there any stores on this ship?" Allen felt slightly cold, and pulled his knees closer to his body, "I'm sure we have enough money to buy more clothes." The samurai nodded once and then swiftly exited the room, closing the door quietly.

Allen stared at the male prostitute ensemble poking ungracefully out of his suitcase like a drunken businessman leering at a school girl somewhere in Japan. Suddenly, dizzying thoughts hit his mind. He'd seen an outfit like this before… Before… Yes. He remembered now. It all happened because of Master Cross a year before he joined the Order.

_Master had been squandering our money again, going to clubs, purchasing illegal drugs, and adding to his vast collection of hammers which he hit Allen with. It was already a well-known fact that Allen was a rather shady poker player, and the white-haired boy knew he couldn't rely on card games any longer. But Cross, being a fool, refused to leave the town because he stood by the fact that the girls were, "hawt."_

"_Allen! Come over here. I've got someone I want you to meet!" Next to Cross stood a flamboyantly dressed, sequined person who was either a gender-confused man, or a woman. With a beard. _

"_This is Miss Luck. She will be your new employer." Cross made Allen shake hands with Miss Luck, and he noted the strapping muscles "she" had. Miss Luck grinned sleazily at Allen, exposing what once seemed like a fine set of teeth, but now were mostly made of scrap metal or-shudder- neon pink plastic._

"_N-n-nice to m-m-meet you," Allen stammered, and Miss Luck expressed her approval with a voice that would make the greatest bass singers snap their fingers with jealousy. _

"_S'great kid. I hire. He be good host, I know." Master Cross beamed, pushing Allen toward his dark, dark, fate. Miss Luck then tossed a black, satiny, extremely glittery costume to him. _

"_Go and-heh, heh- dance your ass off, boy." And that was when Allen's experiences in the inferno called "Le Club" truly began. _

"Ohmygod, Ohmygod," Allen hyperventilated, Miss Luck's face seemingly glued to the back of his eyelids. Now he couldn't see, and fought to stay conscious.

Meanwhile, Kanda went six levels down to the bottom deck to find the only site map on board. _This is complete bullshit_, he thought angrily. _That security guard must be totally insane. And why in the world was he dripping? _At once Kanda felt a shiver go through his spine. The security guard looked suspiciously like…

"So we meet again, Yuu Kanda." The boy who was watching his suitcases was behind him! How?! "I took the elevator here and then hid behind this wall, all to gain the advantage. The advantage of surprise!!" Oh. So that's how.

"What the hell do you want, you retard?" Kanda was in no mood to talk. He'd noticed Allen paling again in the room, and figured he'd better move fast. _Wait. It's not like I care about_- The boy threw a punch at Kanda, who dodged it only because of his keen reflexes. _Damn, that was too fucking close. Gotta stop thinking about Moyashi._ The thought of Allen incensed him, and Kanda glared icily at the suitcase boy.

"I've got no fucking time for this," Kanda hissed, handing out black eyes and bruises by the dozen, "So just leave me alone, asshole." The boy by this time had thrown away most of his dignity and sat groveling at Kanda's feet. _Can't leave him here. Crap, guess I'm going to the Med Center. Again. _He hoisted the boy up with difficulty and after a glance at the map, set out, boots clunking.

After dumping the bastard in a chair, Kanda felt even more enraged now that he'd wasted nearly an hour doing _nothing_. So, he sprinted up to the cabin to tell Allen the bad news.

"Oi, no stores here, Moya-" Kanda began, and then stopped. Allen had turned paper white, and now sat leaning against the bed like a ragdoll. He smiled slightly when he saw Kanda again, but the samurai was far from pleased.

"What the hell happened to you?!" Stooping down, Kanda pulled Allen up tenderly, panic leaping to his throat.

"I-it's nothing. Just remembered that my Master… My Master…" Allen choked up, "I was a prostitute!"

That dumbfounded the long-haired man for a bit. And also pissed him off a bit. "You fucking idiot. The past doesn't matter at all when it comes to the future. God. So quit being such a pussy and take a damn shower."

These chidings didn't make Allen feel horribly. In fact, they gave him some motivation to get his butt off the ground. "Oh, Kanda, in a separate compartment in my suitcase I found… um, well, er… DO YOU WEAR BLACK SILK BOXERS?!"

Kanda blinked. "What."

Allen turned red, "Umm, I found a case with all our… err, necessities. So we don't have to worry about that." His head spun slightly. Why in the world was he having a conversation with _Kanda _about underwear?

"Alright then." Was all the samurai would say. He'd never admit he was embarrassed as well.

"So, I'll be taking the first shower," muttered Allen hastily, grabbing some "necessities" and rushing into the bathroom. Inside, he turned on the hot water. _Kanda wears black silk boxers. Silk. Black silk. Boxers. Kanda. In boxers. Kanda. No boxers…? _With a scream Allen bashed himself over the head with the shower nozzle. BAD, BAD, BAD ALLEN. No good boys would be thinking those thoughts! He, barely dry, got dressed, deciding that his pants were still alright to wear. He remembered he'd forgotten to bring a top.

"At last, Moyashi!" Kanda growled, "I thought you freaking drowned in there, or something." He blinked One time. Then two times. Three times. At the shirtless Allen who still had beads of water dappling his chest. And a well defined chest, might I add. Kanda painstakingly followed a droplet slowly makin its way down Moyashi's incredible abs, soon absorbed by the waistband settled perfectly on luscious hips- and that ass! Look at that ass! Steam from the bathroom rushed out slowly, adding to the already _fine_ scene right in front of Kanda, who swallowed the Timcanpy-sized lump in his throat. Miles away, fangirl radars blipped out of control.

"PUT ON THIS SWEATER." Kanda rushed to the side of his bed, face from Allen. Spreading across his cheeks was a crimson blush.

"Thanks, Kanda!" Allen was happy that Kanda had treated him kindly as of late, "Oops, forgot my towel."

As Allen returned into the bathroom, Kanda languorously unsheathed Mugen, contemplating slitting his throat. How the hell could he possibly consider that Allen's physique was… mildly… an itty bit… slightly… pleasing to the eye?? He began putting his sword back, but when he saw what was happening in his "southern region," he ripped Mugen out again and threatened suicide.

"Gyahhhh!!" shrieked Allen, running out of the bathroom squeaky clean. _Oh_, thought Kanda, _he cares? _

"Don't kill yourself! Please! Take a minute to reconsider," Allen looked as if he were on the verge of tears, and Kanda felt a little flutter in his pulse. The white-haired youth continued, "The blood will get all over my suitcase, and then I'll never be able to get rid of the stains! It's pretty gross, you know."

Kanda looked down. There was Allen's suitcase. Seconds later, Allen's suitcase said goodbye to this world.

Shaking, Allen fell onto his bed, staring at the tattered remains of a once sturdy case. Kanda stood and gathered the skanky pants and shirt, revealing tank top, fishnet stockings, and Mugen, and headed to the bathroom.

"You're going to wear those?" Allen asked incredulously.

"Don't be an idiot. There's no store on this ship other than a gift shop. I can make off just fine." Kanda smirked as he entered the bathroom and shut the door. _I'll show that damn Moyashi just who's fucking sexy. _The water began running.

_Ah, he's being really nice to me, I guess. But he didn't have to kill my suitcase! It's not an Akuma! Hell, it's not even alive! _Allen vented on this for a bit, but soon his mind wandered to how everyone at the Order was doing, whether Lavi had come back from his mission yet, if Krory had come out of his coma. He was so wrapped up in ponderings that he never heard the slicing sounds, or the door of the bathroom _click_.

_Oh. My. God. I'd give anything to put that dog collar and hancuffs on Kanda right now. _What Allen saw simply made his jaw drop.

--

And what did Allen see? Heh, you'll have to find out! XP


	8. What's Wrong With You Young'uns?

Ooh-la la, Kanda you beast! :D

--

"What? Does it look wrong?" Kanda scowled, oblivious to the blood that had begun to drip down Allen's chin.

Kanda had cut up the fishnet stockings and tied them carefully all around the front of the tank top so that the tights were like a very long cylinder of fabric. Though this solved the transparency of the tank, it still was quite risqué, so the samurai had slipped on the sleeveless prostitute shirt. That addition added just the right amount of sex appeal to the outfit while still retaining its punk style, and the wild edges of his tattoo were visible across his shoulder and arm. However, that wasn't what Allen couldn't tear his eyes from.

The bondage pants Kanda wore looked as though they were tailored specifically for him. The tight material framed his oh-so-long model's legs, thin and colt-like. Kanda turned slightly red, crossing his arms. He really wasn't that used to wearing such a revealing outfit; it didn't even have sleeves! And... was Allen gaping at him like am idiot?

Allen stood up on wobbling legs and moved toward Kanda, who looked slightly confused. _Why am I walking? Why am I going to Kanda? Hell, WHY AM I EVEN STANDING UP?! _Allen was dizzy, even more so than before. "Ah, screw it!" He shouted, wringing his hands, and pinned the long-haired exorcist to the ground. With Allen's hands imprisoning Kanda's wrists, the taller boy couldn't move. Or, rather, the buring heat that flamed up quickly with each contact between the two teens rendered that function void.

_Oh fuck, Moyashi's on toppa me!! _Kanda mentally screamed, staring upward, wide-eyed with shock and cheeks reddening. Then he "che'd" as usual, glaring at Allen, whose only response was to move closer. _And that shrimp has the guts to call me girly? Look at those fucking long lashes. Che! And those big eyes... and those pouty... plump... lickable lips... _Kanda shivered, and then near had a seizure when he saw Allen's torso from the collar of the black sweater. He clearly was not himself, and as if to prove that, he shifted and pushed Moyashi down, moving his hand up the cursed boy's shirt, barely running his fingertips over the hard muscles. _I'm SO not letting this damn kid be seme... _

Allen arched his back forward, body trembling. This caused some friction in very _personal_ places, and at that point, Kanda snapped out of his daze, throwing himself into a wall. "...Seme? Uke? What. The. OH GOD, I'M A SICK BASTARD!!" The Japanese exorcist started slamming his head into said wall, miraculously avoiding any concussions. Allen, breathing harshly like he'd just run a marathon, caught glimpse of the plaid miniskirt poking from Kanda's suitcase-it was too much for an innocent fifteen year old- and fainted...

For a minute. "'Scuse me!" Allen rushed into the bathroom, returning with rolls of toilet paper crammed up each nostril. He twitched. _This can't be good for my head…_ "Err, let's go to the gift shop!"

The two set out, both looking in opposite directions, extremely embarrassed and wishing they could forget what just happened. Or perhaps not, you never know. They locked the door of the cabin though but when they arrived, Allen almost immediately regretted taking Kanda here. The gift shop had horrible pastel wallpaper, and was littered head to toe with tin-foil covered candy. Candy. Candy. Candy. And we all know. Kanda. Hates. Candy.

"Hershey Cruise Line," muttered Kanda. Then he narrowed his eyes, glaring at Allen who shivered, "So Komui _did_ take us here." _Ugh_, thought Kanda. Sweet things were revolting, sweet things were nothing but shit that invaded the body and terrorized it. And most of all, sweet things were nothing more than stupid fantasies, because life sure as hell wasn't. The war against the Earl wasn't sweet. Sugar was a distraction from everyday values, and Kanda, who was a fan of black coffee, wanted to stay as in tune to reality as possible. Any less, and in this cruel world you'd be killed.

"Kanda!" Allen waved him over to the extremely hairy cashier, "Will you give me some money? I'd like a candy bar." He held up a humongous, twenty-pound wedge loaded with nuts, caramel, peanut butter, and… Pretzels?

"HOW THE HELL IS THAT A CANDY _BAR_?!" shouted Kanda, startling several nearby senior citizens into having heart contractions, "You'll get freaking diabetes from that! Wait, no, you'll gain five hundred pounds! And get zits! And possibly go blind after you get diabetes! And then how will you fight?"

Allen batted his lengthy lashes, lower lip stuck out. "It's ok," he said sullenly to the cashier, "Kanda doesn't like candy." (Kanda had no idea why, but he got a bit pissed off here.)

"M'God! Whas wrong with you young 'uns these days? In mah time, there t'wasn't no AIDS or HIV, global warmin', Britney Spears, all them guys hatin' on girls, boyfriends hatin' on girlfriends, boyfriends hatin' on boyfriends, unrelieved sexual tension, that kinda thang..." The cashier snorted loudly. (Insert- Kanda got pissed off here.)

"No, it's alright. He's always like that." Allen looked slightly happier now, but still forlorn.

"FINE! Fine, damn it! Here's the fucking money! Go! Go buy your damn chocolate!" Kanda reached into his pocket and pulled out thirty dollars he put there for an emergency.

"Yes!" Kanda had never seen Allen smile like that when he was with him. Sometimes with Lavi and Krory, but that was rare as well. He felt a small tinge of satisfaction as Allen came back, lugging a colossal chunk of the confection in a plastic bag; it was nearly twice the size of his head. But as soon as Kanda realized those feelings, he tried his best to crush them down. Moyashi wasn't anything to him. Right? Right?

"Why the hell won't you ever buy me nice stuff, huh, you jerk!" Allen and Kanda turned around to see a scantily dressed woman shouting at a man.

The man flushed as he realized people were staring at him, and he yelled, "Because you're such a bitch and a whore, maybe that's why!"

"You selfish- I have no idea why I'm dating you in the first place! I fucking hate you!" The woman looked venomously into the crowd as if daring them to talk back.

"AAAGH, I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!" The man yanked the woman, who screamed shrilly, sharply by the arm, about to strike her. The crowd gasped. There was the sound of chocolate hitting the floor…

Like a bullet, Allen had flown over to the man, gripping his arm tightly. Kanda positioned himself next to the woman, hand on Mugen's sheathe. He cast one glare upon the crowd, and they scattered from the area immediately.

"I don't know who you are or the relationship you have with this woman, but hitting a female is immoral." Allen gazed steadily at the man, whose face was returning to its usual shade.

"Yeah, listen to 'im, Lec! You 'aint never treating me right." The woman caught sight of Kanda and then latched onto his arm. He jumped from shock. "Us girls gotta stick together, know what I mean?" Kanda's mouth opened and closed like a goldfish.

"Ma'am, I am a man." The woman was surprised for a minute, putting a heavily tanned hand with claw-like pink nails over her mouth. She eyed him, and Allen got a bad feeling in his stomach.

"Ooh, I can see yer a maaan. Yer pretty _and_ sexy! I like. Anyways, my name's Scarlet Hale. That's Lector. He's my _ex_-boyfriend." Scarlet proceeded to press her ample cleavage into Kanda's bare biceps. He winced, as though in pain, and tried to shake her off. But she was like an octopus, determined, and doubly equipped with suction-cups. "Love your outfit by the way. Where'd you get it?"

"You- you damn bitch!" Lector was once again angry. Allen tightened his grip and the man finally noticed him. "Hey, y-you're a girl, aren't you?" he asked.

Allen coughed. "No, I'm a guy too." Lector continued staring and staring at Allen in a dangerous way.

Although the white-haired exorcist knew he had the upper hand when it came to fighting, he still felt violated by Lector's almost perverted gaze.

At once, "My name's Lector! Lector Osmond! What's your name? Do you like candy? I love candy! I bet you're going to Hershey Park, so why don't we get a room-"

Kanda had Mugen pointing directly at Lector's heart, and Scarlet, instead of being scared, cackled. "Gut 'im!" She screeched noisily.

"Kanda!" Allen said desperately, letting go of Lector to touch his arm. Yet at the moment he released his grip, Lector reached forward and grabbed the back of his sweater. Unable to move or he'd expose his back, Allen was terrified.

"Let go of him!" Roared Kanda moving closer to Lector. Scarlet, at last understanding Kanda was serious, quickly shuffled to the side. She watched on intently, waiting for the right moment to cheer.

Lector moved his dirty, cloudy horn-rimmed glasses which had slid to the bridge of his nose and ran thick fingers with yellow nails through oily hair. "What's his name? You're his associate, so you must know."

"Why the fuck should I tell you?" Answered Kanda viciously. _Fuck, fuck… I can't attack civilians with innocence, even if they are shitty bastards like him. It's against the Exorcist Code. At most I can fist-fight… but Lector's still got Allen. And what about this Scarlet woman?_

"Heeheehee," giggled Lector, "You seem to have a taste for vulgarities…"

"Oh great," called Scarlet from the side, "he's going into his psycho mode. He's a real mental case when he's like that. You should get away." The woman snickered, shifting her weight on her four-inch heels.

"If I tell you, will you let him go?" Kanda tightened his grip on Mugen. _Empty threats, they're all empty threats_, he panicked in his mind.

"Of course. I wouldn't _dream_ of hurting the sweet child." Something was different about Lector. It was as if he'd acquired a sense of class, but he also was more dangerous than ever. His mind spun unbelievably quickly, analyzing every possible move he could make. It was completely unexpected of a man in raggedy jeans, worn sandals, and a no-brand sweatshirt.

"His name is Allen." A drop of sweat fell from Kanda's temple.

"Allen _what?_"

With movements untraceable to the human eye, Kanda sheathed his sword and grabbed Allen.

"Walker."

Lector released his hold.

Allen and Kanda vanished.

--

Finally some lemon and new characters introduced! Yay! They're going to play important roles in the chapters to come. An evil side... revealed. XP


	9. Sugar and the World

Yes! I found out Allen's nickname for Kanda (Bakanda). I was wondering of what else to call that anti-social humbug... .

--

Allen couldn't get the frightful thoughts of Lector out of his mind. It had taken him nearly fifteen minutes to snap out of the paralysis that he'd been subjected to. He recalled Kanda taking him in his arms, sprinting like a cheetah to their cabin and then lying him down on his bed, where he instantly felt drained and exhausted. Allen found that the scent of sakura blossoms and ivory soap could calm him down now, make him at ease. It was a mellow, soothing scent; but most of all, it was Kanda.

At this moment, Kanda sat adjacent from Allen on his bed, leaning against the wall, Mugen across his lap. He watched the white-haired youth slowly fall asleep, daring only to breathe when he was sure Allen was comfortable. Kanda would never forget the way Lector gripped Moyashi's sweater so very tightly, yet at the same time lifted the hem up just so he could see a beautiful sliver of smooth, porcelain skin. _How dare that motherfucking son of a bitch violate Moyashi like that? _Kanda's eyebrows ticked at the very thought, and the samurai gripped his katana till his knuckles gleamed white.

"Fifteen years old isn't a child," muttered Kanda softly, so as not to wake Allen, "but it sure as hell isn't an adult either!" _If that fucker Lector comes near Moyashi again, I swear, I'll kill him. _Kanda settled into a deep, meditative state to pass the hours, but was awakened by the sound of Allen turning and sitting up. Only roughly forty-five minutes passed.

"Kanda…?" Allen called into the darkness, almost unsure of himself. _God, I'm acting like such a wuss_. He clenched his fists, _Lector's nothing! He's not even an Akuma. I've got no reason to be so damn afraid. _Allen exhaled loudly and said in a jauntier voice, "Kanda! Come on! We're getting some food, I'm hungry."

"Fine, Moyashi. Whatever." Kanda stretched slightly and then left with Allen to the cafeteria. He didn't want to admit it, but it struck him as… well, worth respecting that Moyashi was trying to hide his anxiety. And a little cute as- _You did not just think that, you idiot!! Yes, it never happened, never happened. I guess. _Kanda groaned. The day had been most eventful.

Allen and Kanda discovered that the cook, or "Cookie," had been replaced by a member of the cruise staff due to health issues. (Kanda coughed lightly, saying to Allen, "You go first.") It wasn't exactly time for dinner, seeing as it was the late afternoon, but having lunch now would be too late. As Allen was getting his fourteen platters of Turkey Delight, five plates of salad, half a strawberry cake, and a pitcher of ice water, Kanda quickly scanned the parameter for any Scarlet or Lector. They were not to be found.

"Meet you at our table!" Allen was considerably better now, and dug into the food, which wasn't half bad, with gusto. Kanda soon emerged with napkins galore, some spaghetti, a glass of ice water, and another cup.

"The food's really good, Kanda," Allen said, spraying the samurai with bits of turkey and vegetables. Kanda thrust the napkins at him roughly, nearly shoving them in his mouth, and sat down.

"Bakanda, you don't eat napkins!" Kanda ignored that statement most full-heartedly. Moyashi had obviously suffered brain damage, the poor lad! Alack, alack, alack.

"... Oi, you look retarded drinking from a whole freaking pitcher of water." True, Allen was attracting stares _again _for his "unique" eating habits.

"Heh, you're right. Anyway, do you know when we'll get to Hershey Park?" Allen had moved on to the salads now, and Kanda soon added vinaigrette as a food he'd never sample. Oh god, when Moyashi spoke, the burn! The burn of vinegar in Kanda's eyes!! The long-haired teen thought he'd go freaking blind.

"Oh, whoops, am I spitting a little at you?" Allen paused his, frankly, inhuman consumption process to stare at Kanda, who not only had squinted his eyes to little slits to cope with the pain of the edible acid, but in his confusion he was flinging forkfuls of spaghetti in random directions because he couldn't discern the route to his mouth.

"NO. YOU ARE NOT **SPITTING**." Kanda opened his eyes, now red and bloodshot. The unfortunate soul behind him sobbed in a pool of white clam sauce, tears diluting the lovely clamminess.

"That's (spit) a relief!" Allen beamed, emitting little happy rays. Kanda had truly changed! He was being so delightfully kind. _Oh, he just smiled. Wow, this is amazing progress. I hope Komui's happy. The whole reason he sent us on a Journey of Recovery was because he saw us swearing at each other. Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Komui's a bastard. _Allen grinned happily again.

_Thank God. Thank God Moyashi moved onto the desert. _Kanda sighed with relief, flicking his hair back. _Whipped cream can't sting. _

Suddenly, the voice of the captain was heard over the loud speaker system. "Attention all passengers! This is your last night on board! We will be arriving at Hershey Park early in the morning and anchoring in the East Port! We advise vacationers to pack your luggage beforehand! Have a good night!"

"You have your answer," said Kanda sarcastically, looking distastefully at the sad remains of the accident that was his spaghetti. He threw down the fork, taking a long swig of water.

"Kanda, do you want some cake?" Allen offered the grumpy samurai a bite of strawberry goodness off his fork. The sight was very adorable, seeing that the cursed boy had gotten cream onto his cheeks and a few dabs around his mouth.

Kanda felt his head and visage grow hot. Confused, he growled, "Why the fuck would I want your cake?"

This must have hurt Allen quite a bit, for he lapsed into silence. "Err, I mean, I'm full right now?" Kanda hoped this half-hearted response- oh, alright; it was a complete freaking lie. Kanda was actually quite hungry- might salvage the boy's pride a bit.

"Of course! Kanda has been eating his noodles. I see, I see." Allen, once again, was joyous and continued to terrify those around him with his black hole of a stomach.

Kanda and Allen made their way back to the cabin, Allen very much satiated with his meal (enough to feed thirty small children or seventeen famished orphans) and Kanda not so much. But General Tiedoll taught him never to complain-much- and he'd be damned if he disobeyed his Master. The boys lapsed into a relaxed silence back in their accommodations, neither one saying much. Kanda fell asleep first, for he was more tired and had a semi-empty stomach. Allen, humming under his breath, was about to hit the sack as well when he saw the black sweater he was wearing. The black sweater Lector touched. Lector. Touched it.

With a frightened cry, Allen tugged the sweater recklessly over his head and threw it in the corner. He wanted to activate his innocence and burn it to bits, destroy it, annihilate it, as though it were another Akuma. Allen gasped; he'd forgotten Kanda was also in the room. _No. I'm failing him again. Kanda would never act like this. Like a little damn girl. But I can't… I just can't fall asleep right now. _Allen fell to the floor, arms limp. His fear was going to overflow. He felt more lost than ever, and then…

"Fuck, Moyashi. What the hell's wrong with you?!" Kanda was standing besides him again. The room was dark by now, as the light had long been turned off, and the black-haired exorcist was only in his silk boxers. Allen looked up at the never-ending, inky locks cascading down Kanda's shoulders like a rippling river, his strong biceps and immaculately tattooed torso a master sculptor couldn't have created. Allen wasn't able to speak.

Kanda saw Allen's guiltless, clear face, a face that displayed emotions so openly. He saw a frightened child, broken, swayed by terrible new experiences. Lector was different from battles the teens had fought. He more represented a force the Black Order, Allen, and Kanda, couldn't argue with, and couldn't fight with: the public.

"Moyashi, the world isn't sweet," Kanda whispered into his ears, warm breath making Allen shiver, though with pleasure, "but for your sake, keep on thinking it is." He picked up Allen as though he were a delicate doll, and laid him in his bed. He drew the covers and was about to walk away when a hand grabbed his.

"Kanda…" started Allen, "I know the world isn't sweet. And I know you think naïve people are deluded. But without people who believe in fantasies, life couldn't be. If I think like that, is it wrong? Is it so damn wrong to be this way?" _Beautiful and fragile_, thought Kanda, _oh God, I-I can't think of a come back. _He bent down and saw Allen still shaking. The hold on his hand increased._ What can I do? _The long-haired teen wanted to bring comfort. However, he also fell prey to seduction.

Kanda climbed in under the blankets and eased Allen's body closer to the wall so he'd have room, leaning his forehead against the younger boy's soft, bare back and wrapping his arms around a lean waist.

"No, Allen. It's not wrong at all."

--

Oh my gosh. That has got to be the most serious chapter I've written about Kanda and Allen (not including the previous). Wow. Why do I feel tired?! Lol. XP


	10. My COST? It's Priceless!

Ha, I guess you could call this the "morning after." XD

--

"ATTENTION ALL PASSENGERS! ATTENTION ALL PASSENGERS! THE CRUISE LINE HAS ENTERED EAST PORT AND WILL BE DOCKING SHORTLY. IT IS MANDATORY THAT IN TEN MINUTES ALL VACATIONERS ARE STATIONED ON TOP DECK TO ENTER HERSHEY PARK. THANK YOU FOR RIDING THIS SHIP, AND HAVE A SAFE TRIP!"

The captain's message rang in Allen's ears like a hand-ball gone wild while being in a garden of concrete. He turned over and nuzzled into something blissfully warm. Odd, his legs were straddling it as well. But no matter. Whatever it was, it felt pretty damn good, and the white-haired youth had no plans of letting go. Suddenly, the comfortable mass Allen was clinging on to for dear life jerked up abruptly, and he was literally flung from the bed. Eyes wide open, he saw Kanda in all his shirtless, boxer-clad glory standing over him.

"You have one chance to escape." The samurai already had his sword in hand.

"… Good morning to you, too." Allen could hardly think straight, as he was definitely, absolutely, totally, not an early riser.

"Oh, right," said Allen, turning red from the memory of last night, "I slept with… I slept with…" The cursed youth paused here, his face contorting into all sorts of grotesque images, including one that resembled a rather peculiar-looking Paris Hilton. Even Kanda stopped, brows twitching madly. At the same time Allen began to scream, the captain sent a final call throughout the vessel.

"HOLY CRAP ON A FREAKING SANDWICH-"

"THIS IS THE LAST WARNING I WILL ISSUE-"

"I FREAKING SLEPT WITH-"

"ANYONE STILL ON THE SHIP WILL BE FORCED TO-"

"KANDA AND I ACTUALLY SURVIVED!!"

"RETURN TO OUR STARTING DESTINATION. YOU HAVE-"

"Hey, Kanda, what's the captain saying?"

"THREE MINUTES!"

Kanda, having listened to the message, decided to ignore Moyashi's airhead tendencies and urge to kill. He figured Allen just definitely, absolutely, totally, was not an early riser. The long-haired youth grabbed his skanky pants, hastily putting them on, and jammed his feet into washed boots. Then he quickly shoved the remains of Allen's suitcase into his own, checking that the money was still there.

"THIRTY SECONDS!" The captain sounded the horn from his seat.

"Gyaaaahhhfuckhhhhh!" Screamed Allen and Kanda, dashing for survival. Oh God, the gang-plank! It was being lifted up! Would they make it in time? _Damn it_, thought Allen, _I spent all that time on this accursed ship to get to Hershey Park, not to be sent back!_ (As events usually go, manga characters get bursts of inspiration during pressing times.) Allen got a burst of inspiration!

"Kanda," he called, activating his Innocence so that it was reminiscent of a bazooka or cannon, "come here!" With one fluid motion, Allen grabbed the Japanese teen roughly by the waist and, pointing his weapon behind them, fired off eighty consecutive rounds, propelling them forward mightily. It was just enough power; the two crash-landed on the port, amid a stressed-to-the-extreme crowd of people. Allen hurriedly de-activated his arm, and Kanda threw him his jacket from the suitcase.

Behind them, the ship wasn't far away. However, it _was_ sinking at an alarming rate. "MAYDAY! MAYDAY!" Boomed the captain like a wounded rhinoceros, "I REPEAT, S. O. S.! DAMN IT, WHO'S GONNA TAKE CARE OF MY APARTMENT AND MY DOG?! S. O. S.! S. O. S.!"

"Err, we'd better get going," said Kanda awkwardly, as a horde of women began forming around him.

"Terrorists! They're terrorists!" Shrieked a man, ripping out great chunks of his hair and pointing wildly at the duo, "You can see their insignia on that guy's chest!"

"Burn the witches! Burn the witches! Burn! Burn! Burn!" The crowd was growing increasingly restless.

A short, squat woman stepped around. "Shaddup, yer goons! Yer just jealous because they're prettier than you!"

"What does that have to do with anything?" The crowd was beginning to transform into a mob, and then cause a riot, stop for a snappy lunch, and let chaos ensue! "Those boys just blew up a ship!"

"They freakin' _sank_ it, they didn't blow it up! And that captain was puttin' the moves on me, that perv." By this time, Kanda and Allen had snuck away from all the people. The black-haired exorcist had wisely put on his make-shift shirt, greatly lessening the amount of attention he was getting.

"You don't have you're hair tie." Allen looked at the long strands fluttering with the breeze.

"Che. I can live without it." Meanwhile, the pair saw a looming, white building in the distance, gargantuan in size. Squinting, Allen realized what it was.

"Hey! That's our hotel!"

"Stupid Moyashi. What are you waiting for?" At this, Allen muttered, "Bakanda" under his breath, much to the amusement of a smirking Kanda.

Alone together like this, Allen felt a little more nervous with the samurai than before. He soon noticed his friend's pace slowing down. What was wrong? Well, Kanda was damn hungry. No, that was an understatement. He was simply ravenous.

_I haven't eaten properly in three days_. Kanda sighed, _Argh, I can't be so weak right now, not when Moyashi's still so fucked up. Ok, this is just another mission, just another- OHMYGOD, CURLY FRIES_!! Kanda would have run off like a rampant, rabid animal at this point if it weren't for his steadfast self control. There were so many street stands and vendors and rides, it was frankly overwhelming. Luckily, Allen was getting puckish too (no surprise here), and noticed his companion's needs.

"We should stop and eat, Kanda. I think we've made it about half way now. See anywhere good?" Allen glanced at Kanda pleasantly, waiting. The samurai twitched his nose.

"Che." _Thank you so much! _"We'll, to put up with you're appetite, it better be a buffet restaurant." _Heh, heh, buffet it is. _Inwardly, Kanda was singing with joy.

Allen pouted, but he had to admit there was some logic behind the madness. At once, he heard the cheering of children behind him. He turned around to come face to face with a giant chocolate bar. "What the hell is that?"

"It's a person in a costume, oh smart one." Kanda felt an immediate dislike toward whoever was in the suit. One reason was that he was _Kanda_, after all, and hated candy, but also because he sensed something violent and dark within the uniform. He just couldn't put his finger on it.

"Whoaaa," Allen gasped, "I'd love to have a chocolate bar so big!" _How can this kid b so naïve, _pondered Kanda. _Lookslike I'll have to drag him away by force. _The long-haired teen took Allen's hand, at which Allen received a not entirely unpleasing tingle, and led him onward. Neither of them noticed the person in the chocolate bar suit, surrounded by children, move in the same direction.

After almost another half hour of walking, Allen and Kanda finally stumbled on an all-you-can-eat buffet which also served Japanese food, to Kanda's delight. Inside, Kanda paid 30 for the both of them, and sprinted to the food area to find himself a bowl of tempura soba. Yes! There was an Asian noodle section!

Meanwhile, Allen had just piled plates and plates, heaping after heaping, countless portions of pretty much anything that looked good, onto his tray. It was quite a sight to see the samurai savoring a single bowl of noodles, while right across from him food disappeared at the blink of an eye.

And elderly man in a well-kept Armani suit, previously sitting in a desolate corner, came up to the table, sneering at Allen. "Excuse me," he said, addressing Kanda, "Good afternoon. Might I know if you'd like to be employed?" He grinned, exposing a row of obviously fake teeth.

"What kind of employment is it?" Kanda looked up from his finished soba, "I have a job." The man raised his eyebrows, wrinkling his surgically enhanced forehead.

"I arrange a sort of, you might call, _talent_ school. We hire people to sit in rooms and, shall we say, _mingle_ with others." The man folded his fingers, and Kanda narrowed his eyes. "I can see you aren't in the best financial conditions," he said, gesturing at the raggedy shirt, "but I can help you make money. Physically, you look perfect for the job."

"I… still don't quite _get _what you're saying." Kanda had set down his chopsticks with a snap, looking dangerously at the man. The man's nostrils flared, as if his temper had been lighted.

"What I'm saying is, how much do you cost?"

WHAM.

The sound of Allen's fist colliding with the lecher's face resonated sharply in the restaurant. The youth's breathing was harsh. "How could he come and act like that to us?"

Kanda smiled a wistful look so brief and gentle no one saw it. Except Allen. "We're leaving."

_Us, we…_ Allen had never found so much meaning, weight, yet at the same time light in those words sine Mana used them. Now, as he looked at the form of Kanda's back walking slightly in front of him, he felt insurmountably happy, though horribly frightened as well. Feelings foreign to him were blossoming rapidly in his chest. Their power over his thoughts, their lethal abilities controlling his actions… _I feel like I'm drowning, like the world's coming over me and pushing me down. Yet somehow, somehow, I'm diving into the water myself. _God, he was so confused.

The meal at the buffet provided enough energy for the two teen s to make it to the hotel just as the sun was setting. They entered through shiny, glass revolving doors, and make their way to the front desk.

"Hello and welcome to Hershey Park Hotel and Spa. What can WE do for YOU today?" Allen stole a look at the employee's name tag while Kanda stood, arms crossed, beside him.

"Well, err, Melissa, persons Allen Walker and Yuu Kanda have reservations here booked by Komui Lee?" Allen twiddled his thumbs as Melissa searched the online hotel log on the Apple on her desk.

"Ah, yes! I see two reservations for Misters Walker and Kanda… But you aren't guests." Allen swallowed, stomach plummeting.

He asked tentatively, "Then what are we?" Kanda had gone absolutely rigid. Melissa gave them a smug, pitying look.

"You're the newest additions to the Hershey Park Hotel staff!"

--

Round and round KC goes, where it stops, nobody knows! (Not even La Lune de Fraise, although she's got an inkling.) XP


	11. Return of the Psycho Bitch

A/N: I'm sorry for the late (?) update! Or, at least, it's the latest _yet_ anyway. So enjoy! 

--

Kanda couldn't believe the words that came out of this "Melissa" woman's mouth. New additions to the fucking staff? Holy shit on a fucking cross, Komui was so going to _get it_. Without laying a finger on Mugen, the samurai began radiating an evil aura, turning the entire lobby an ominous black and killing several potted plants, as well as causing a chandelier to fall from the ceiling and spontaneously combust. Good job, Yuu Kanda, the last part was a nice touch.

Allen glanced fearfully at his traveling companion, hissing, "You can graffiti on the walls of our room and I won't tell! Or make something explode! Err, again! Just keep your cool…" At those words, Kanda "che'd" angrily.

"What are our jobs?" he asked flipping his hair back. _Damn, these guys are gonna be pissed off_, Melissa thought with zeal, running her tongue over her teeth and sneering. They were even lower on the Hotel totem poll than her!

"I am dreadfully, dreadfully sorry, but I can't disclose that information here. And, look! More vacationers." Melissa turned away, pretending to study her nails, really looking at the Japanese man's reaction. Finally, another underdog to toy with… To her dismay, there was none.

"Where can we find the head of this lodge?" Kanda was positively venomous, and his trademarked murderer's glare proved it. Allen didn't know whether he should laugh, feel scared, find some chocolate to eat, or tell his friend to calm down. _Mmm, chocolate,_ he reflected wistfully, drifting off.

"Y-you can go to the back rooms where you'll see an office marked "'Manager.' Go there! Now! Can't you tell I've got people to service?" Melissa gulped, wishing she could conjure some customers out of thin air, seeing as the entire area was vacant. Kanda, grabbing Allen, who had begun salivating madly, and left.

The two found the office with ease, and then knocked on the door. There was no reply. "Maybe," said Allen nervously, "he's not there?" Suddenly, there was a loud slam, the staccato clicking of stiletto heels, and the entrance violently swung open.

"What can I do fer ya?" Scarlet Hale, in the flesh, stood imperiously before them, transparent blouse open two buttons too far, revealing ample cleavage. She blinked once. Again. And spiraled into a fit of giggles. "I never thought I'd see you guys again!" By "you guys" she meant "Kanda."

Allen felt a twinge in his heat. What? It was similar to panic, except it was also accompanied by a feeling of urgency, and possessiveness. The white-haired youth furrowed his brow, pondering these new emotions. "We'd like to find out our jobs, please." The iciness in his tone alarmed Scarlet, and actually surprised Kanda; _Heh, Moyashi's growin' up._

"Ohmygosh, like, no way! You guys are the new employeez?" The busty woman had regained her pomp and reverted to her valley-girl roots. Allen and Kanda entered the dingy room.

"And _you're _the manager?" Kanda asked incredulously.

"Not exactly, ya see. Daddy, the manager, got sick and bailed fer a month, and he said he'd gimme a real nice present if I'd sit in while he's gone. I was traveling when he called, and the whole cruise was pretty much all set up to get me." Scarlet sighed, rolling heavily mascara-coated eye, "The old geezer wants to make money so he can grow some hair back. Fuck, the bastard won't even lemme use his office! But this is so awesome, having buddies here."

Allen blinked. She'd been chatting for nearly ten minutes now by herself. He coughed politely, seeming to have gotten over his anxiety. Scarlet got the message and clicked wildly on an expensive Apple computer that completely upstaged the room, and cackled, tears running down her cheeks. Thank the Lord for waterproof make-up… for sparing us visual abominations… and having George W. Bush as president another four years…

"'Kay, so's I don't forget! Later go up a floor to the help desk and get your work supplies," Scarlet shook her finger patronizingly, "Allen, yer a maid. Got a uniform ready and everythin', and if ya don't wear it, I'll fire ya." She guffawed at the shocked expression on the white-haired boy's face. "And I shall presume… you are Yuu?" She snorted, "Yer a waiter, hot stuff. Heh, this hotel's restaurant's gonna be tough. Can Yuu handle it?"

Kanda twitched, activating his demon glare. "Of course I can. And call me Kanda." Scarlet smirked, her impossibly glossy lips radiating harmful UV rays in a relatively lightless parameter.

"And why in the world should I do that, Yuu-pie?"

The long-haired teen growled, "I barely even _know_ you, much less _want_ to. It's a culture thing. So just call me Kanda."

Scarlet's face seemed to sag and her fake nails clicked noisily on the faux wood desk. "How…HOW DARE YOU FREAKING TALK BACK TO YER MANAGER! I CAN'T BELIEVE YER ATTITUDE, YOU DICKWAD! YOU work fer ME! Yeah, ya don't know me! SO GET TO KNOW ME, GOT IT, ASSWIPE?" Scarlet was standing now, tottering on her towering shoes and panting to boot. "… Next time ya show any sass around me, yer fired. Now get the hell out." As Kanda (poker-face mode: activated; freaked out to the extreme? Yes) and Allen stumbled out, Scarlet called, "But, Yuu, the bedroom's an exception!!"

"That was… new." Allen felt the need to break the ice-berg of awkwardness that had formed around the two males. _Poor Kanda. That's one psycho bitch lusting for him_.

"I-I have n-no idea w-w-what you're t-talking about," stuttered Kanda, shivering. Allen blushed; seeing the older exorcist get so flustered was pretty darn cute. So, he linked his arm with Kanda's and steered him to the next floor. The Japanese teen didn't jerk away. The atmosphere became peaceful and uninterrupted ascending the stairs as a gentle silence was established. Ten minutes later:

"I AM NOT WEARING A SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRT!!"

Allen was screaming at the top of his lungs, threatening to run away if not for a set of muscled arms (guess who?) holding him down. They'd made it to the help desk and into a utility closet with an aid only to discover that there was something horribly, _horribly _wrong with the work uniforms.

"I'm sorry!" cried the aid, blushing despite attempts not to, "There were only female uniforms available, and maids are usually female anyway, you know!" He instantly shut up as Kanda glared at him, still holding a crazed Allen in lockdown.

"There has to be an alternative." As Kanda glanced at the maid ensemble, which really wasn't a skirt but a one-piece dress that had a ribbon around the waist as to only _look_ like a skirt (how deceiving!), he began to see… let us call them "images" he'd rather not be experiencing. Some concerning a certain Moyashi. "Craaap!" he swore, quickly slicing the dress in half. Inwardly, the aid sobbed. He was never gonna get laid.

"Phew, it's gone." Allen once more was rejuvenated. _Damn that woman_, he thought, _she's after my pride and Kanda as well! _However, said aid was not in such a fantastic mood. He grumbled to himself, a constant stream of: something-something-something-laid-something-something-nachos.

"Here! Jeez, way to ruin a moment," the aid muttered, "here's something I found from last year's shipment of maid attire. YOU'RE waiter uniform is on the rack. Figure out what you need, I'm freaking off." Kanda raised his eyebrows. These Americans at Hershey Park sure were temperamental! They'd never last a month alone in the Alps battling Akuma…

Kanda reminisced offhandedly at his past missions, and realized how absurd the present one was. Relieved to see his waiters' uniform was relatively normal, although made of a scratchy material, he turned around to face Allen. "What's wrong?" he immediately asked.

"BLOODY EVERTHING!" cried the white-haired boy, "look at these shorts!"

Kanda's eyes surveyed tight, black, frilly spandex shorts. And got a nosebleed.

--

A/N: Yes! Done! But I must add that I, La Lune de Fraise, has never been to Hershey Park, thus everything I am writing is based off some insane hotel that is 99.999839 percent most likely not similar to the real location Kanda and Allen are supposed to be in. XP


	12. Crimson Letters

Urgh. The woes of a family vacation… BUT I'M BACK Y'ALL! :)

--

"I cannot believe Komui would do this to us! Actually, to _me_!" Allen pouted, in near tears. Kanda averted his eyes and tapped his foot awkwardly on the ground. Inside, the samurai was secretly giving the Supervisor thumbs up and other little compliments abound. Tee-hee, Allen as a maid. _I can die moderately happy_, thought Kanda.

To refresh, when we last left our two heroes, they had come across enemies more fearsome than the Millennium Earl or Tikki Mick, sans swirly glasses. And what to do now? Let epiphanies rain from the sky!

Allen decided to give the Black Order a call. _Hmph. It's not like Komui's going to just put the telephone number of Headquarters anywhere, but then again…_The white-haired youth dragged Kanda down to the lobby and procured the Yellow Pages from Melissa, who was all too happy (yet afraid) to oblige.

"Are you a freaking idiot?" Kanda scoffed, flicking his hair. "Even Komui's not that stupid! I mean, it's true he's got the brain mass of a slug and has an excessively creepy sister-complex, but he _does_care about the sake of the exor-"

"Ah! I found it!" Kanda blinked.

Humming, Allen skipped over to the payphone while the Japanese teen grappled with the phone book. As he looked, he was definitely not pleasantly surprised. "The Black Order's not a pizza delivery place! Fuck! So that's why he's always sending me to Italy to fight, like, one Akuma and receive shipments of _Merda Salsa di Pizza_." The exorcist shivered, fervently hoping that the so-called "flour" in the dough wasn't made from Komui's uncompleted assignments. He had heard Reever complaining about the lazy man's habit of going through nearly four paper shredders a week.

"Hello? Is this Supervisor Komui? Oh, hey Reever!" Allen smiled evilly, and Kanda glanced over with apprehension. "Great to hear from you again. Mm-hmm. What? No! Kanda hasn't hit on- err, look, just get me that bastard Komui, alright?"

Back at Headquarters, Reever snickered. He'd love to see the look on the Supervisor's face after this phone call. "Oi! Lenalee's calling from her mission. She seems like she really, really misses her big brother."

"GIMME THE PHONE." Komui leapt from on top of a book shelf (only God knows what he was doing up there) and raced down. _What the hell?_Reever thought, _is it raining in here? Oh fuck! Those are Komui's tears! Fuck! I'll have to burn my lab coat!_ The Supervisor, oblivious to his comrade's deep disgust, continued to sob and wail, while flat on his back and making snow angels in the surplus of paper on the floor.

"My lovely, pretty, totally ah-dorable sweetie-pie! How's it goin' for you, doll? It's been an ah-mazing week for me! You better not have gotten a boyfriend, or you know awesome superhero Komui will go and- OH MY LORD WHAT A FILTHY MOUTH!!"

Kanda was actually laughing as Allen began cussing Komui out, drawing attention to the pair in the lobby. Melissa sighed, banging her head noisily against a potted plant.

"&#!!dammit#&!" The younger boy had gone a vibrant shade of carnelian. "How in hell's name did you order me to wear a maid uniform?!"

Komui paused. "I never assigned you to be a maid, nor for you to wear maid attire. You and Kanda were both supposed to be waiters…" Allen was puzzled here.

"But, I mean, the Manager told me this and everything! You're not joking, right?"

"No, Allen. And anyway, aren't maids supposed to be female? Anyhow, I'd advise you to talk to the head of the hotel once more."

"Mmm, alright. Sorry, Supervisor, I was pretty out of line. And why is the Order's number in a phone book under Anti-Akuma Pizza Delivery?"

"No problem Allen, I **LIVE** to **HELP**! Hmph, to answer that, simply, funds are tight!" Komui made a mental note to purchase another paper shredder. How was he going to make his special flour? "So, how's it going with that anti-social humbug?"

Allen glanced over at Kanda who had a faint blush on his cheeks from his amusement and the traces of a smile. The gaze- it melted Allen's anger right away. "It's really nice… I'm having a lot of fun, and I think we're getting along really nicely."

_Holy Lenalee's pigtails_, _they're getting along? Oh no, don't tell me they've… they've… MOVED TO SECOND BASE? Crapcrapcrap, they better not be in love. Ooh, that scares me. Kanda, Allen, and love in the same sentence._ "B-b-but you hate him, don't you Allen? Don't you?"

"Not really anymore. I don't really now how I feel, but I can say it's definitely not hate," Allen ran his fingers through his hair. The samurai was looking at him, questioning the long conversation, and he could barely concentrate. "Hey, were you they one who screwed up our luggage and gave us all this nasty prostitute clothing and-"

"This phone is designed to self-destruct once this call ends, and a special agent will come shortly to destroy the phone book. Sayonara, and have a fantastic, Lenalee-filled day! But not really, since she's _mine_. Whatever, seeyas!"

"Komui you bastard!" BOOM. Allen had flung the phone across the room and not a minute late either. "Freaking… C'mon, Kanda. Let's go to the help desk on more time." The duo left, and Melissa sputtered incoherently, a shard of pottery imbedded in her forehead from the plant. Suddenly, a sunglasses-clad man entered the hotel.

"Hello! Welcome to Hershey Park Ho-_ why do you have a gun_?" BANGBANGBANG. Melissa had fainted, frothy foam dribbling from her mouth, and the Yellow Pages, though still yellow, where no more.

At Headquarters, Komui snapped his fingers, diva-style. "Damn. That call was long-distance."

"What? Someone tampered with the uniform delivery?" Allen couldn't believe his ears. After leaving the lobby, he found out that the hotel had, in fact, ordered a shipment of maid attire with pants and other garments of the sort to appease to their employees' needs. When the boxes were delivered, they seemed to be fine. The personnel in charge turned his back for one moment to contact another section, and when he returned, they had been cut open. All clothing besides skirts and tops were stolen.

"When did this happen?" Kanda furrowed his brow. There was something seriously wrong with this ploy. After relaying the information, Allen had seemed most worried. Well, the jobs didn't begin until tomorrow morning since they'd come so late. Right now it was around six in the afternoon, so he'd have time to ask around.

"Moyashi. Go get the room keys. I'll meet you there in a bit." Kanda turned around swiftly, marching downwards.

"623, alright? 623!" Allen called. He took the keys from the aid and left. Meanwhile, Kanda was attempting to fend off an attacker, but to no avail.

"Yuuuuuu!! I knew ya'd come back to me, the guys always do!" Scarlet had latched herself firmly on said samurai's arm, refusing to get off. "So, ya wanna do it now, or save it til our first date?" Okay, that was the last straw. Talk about "it" with Yuu Kanda? Yer dead.

"Let go. Right. Now." Scarlet leaped back, settling into her swivel chair with a defiant squeak. "I want to know something about our job assignments."

"Anythin' fer you, darlin'. Yer so cute when ya got somethin' on yer mind…" Scarlet trailed off, looking dreamily at Kanda.

"Why was Allen assigned as a maid? He should have been a waiter, like me."

Scarlet's eyes bugged out once more, and Kanda was afraid she would have another episode. However, the woman began shivering nonstop, gripping her shoulders in an attempt to calm down. Surprised, Kanda leaned forward.

"I-I-I don't know n-nothin'. Not anythin'! You hear me, Yuu Kanda?!"

"What's wrong? Why are you so scared?" Kanda tried to fish for more information, but Scarlet was beyond comprehension. She stood up and guided Kanda out of the office, tears welling in her eyes.

"If I tell, bad things are gonna happen. Please, Yuu. Leave it." And pushed him out.

_Ugh, that was pretty… fucking freaky. I mean, "bad things"? What the hell? There's obviously some conspiracy going on about Moyashi, right under our noses. Now that I think about it, maid and waiter… the jobs barely connect at all! Someone wants to separate us. Someone who knows that we're traveling together. _Kanda would have continued on this path, but he realized that he was-shudder- _caring_ about Allen, and dismissed everything, thinking that the teen could handle it by himself. He wasn't a baby, damn it!

Kanda reached room 623 and knocked on the door. He heard loud scuffling noises and became puzzled. Allen's voice rang out, high-pitched and nervous, "W-who's there?!"

"It's me, Moyashi. Open the fucking door already." With a sigh of relief, Allen pulled the samurai in, burying his face in Kanda's chest, gripping onto his shoulders. The Japanese man was shocked and coughed, about to push Allen off. He stopped when he saw the look on the white-haired youth's face. Guiding Allen further into the room, he twitched when he saw there was only one bed, and judging from the immense space in the room, the second had been removed. He spied a small, yet quaint kitchen and a tidy bathroom as well.

"Kanda… someone sent me a letter." The dread in Allen's voice was too much, and the long-haired teen noticed an open envelope on the bureau. Laying Allen gently on top of the blankets, he moved closer to the parchment.

"What… odd ink," Kanda whispered, picking up the paper gingerly. He gasped, dropping it and paling. The crimson letters dancing on the paper were different, and for a good reason. "Sick… this is so motherfucking sick…"

The letter was written entirely in blood.

--

This morbid turn is so refreshing! And by the way, _Merda Salsa di Pizza _means "Shit Pizza Sauce." Bad, bad Komui! XP


	13. Color the World

A/N: This story's going to take a turn at this point, for better or for worse. Please leave reviews with any comments you have about it, good and bad! :)

--

"Don't touch it! Just don't touch it, Kanda!" The samurai glanced over at the troubled youth, pale as the sheets on the bed. He moved closer toward the letter, picking it up, careful not to touch the blood. Allen put his head on his knees, breathing harshly. Kanda could hardly believe what he read.

_My Beloved,_

_Allen. Allen Walker, oh what a glorious name that is. I knew our stars were intercrossed when we first met that fateful day. You are my light, my songbird. You, and only you, are the one that dips into my dreams at night and my thoughts, forevermore. Allen, will you fly away? Will you fly away from me? I know everything about you, Allen Walker. Things even you yourself cannot comprehend. _

_Draw closer, my pet, come into my cage. A free animal must be imprisoned, as it will flee. But worry not, dearest; I am coming for you. I will come for you soon. So soon my very being tingles at our fateful day. Ours. Yours. And mine. _

_But please, please hold this in mind: I am a messenger, a messenger from love's thorny brambles. A messenger, which is I, and nothing more. _

_Lector Osmond_

Feeling like his breath had just been knocked out of him; Kanda all but threw the letter back onto the dresser. He furrowed his brow. The note was creepy, damn creepy, but he couldn't help but think that there was something peculiar about it. Something that didn't quite match up, or didn't quite follow through. He was jerked from his thoughts when he saw Allen standing. Immediately his muscles tensed and he was on guard.

"Give me the fucking letter." Allen's tone was dead and harsh, making Kanda shiver unintentionally. When the black-haired exorcist made no move, the teen shouted, "Give me the fucking thing so I can rip it up into shreds!!"

Allen charged forward, but deep inside Kanda realized the letter would be useful in the future, and swiftly locked onto the boy's arms. Barely able to hold him back, the samurai quickly pushed him onto the bed, pinning down his wrists so he would have the weight advantage. _Now all there's left to do is wait_, Kanda thought. Allen's eyes were wild, though he seemed to be calming down, and his pulse fluttering in his pale neck. The Japanese man was mystified by the rapid palpitations, and relinquished his hold to place his hand gently over Allen's collar. It was a mistake, and the white-haired teen recognized it immediately.

"Ahh," groaned Kanda, clenching his teeth and gripping the boy's shoulders. _Holy shit, Moyashi just bit me!_ And indeed, that was true, for Allen had clamped his teeth squarely on the tender region where shoulder meets neck. Kanda emitted a low, pained sound, oddly aroused by this. I mean, someone was _biting_ him! He shouldn't be feeling this way… should he? _Oh god, _Kanda became panicked; _don't tell me that was Moyashi's tongue_.

Kanda flushed, for Allen had wrapped his arms tightly around the samurai's back. Slowly, painstakingly, the cursed exorcist relinquished his grasp, a long, thin trail of saliva trailing from his mouth. The rush of cool air called goose bumps on Kanda's bite-mark, but he was even more surprised when Allen, eyes heavily-lidded, gave the mark a light lick. Kanda literally keeled over to the side, body paralyzed with shock, his face bright red. Sleepily, Allen muttered, "Soap will sting, Bakanda." Kanda simply stared.

Later, in the bathroom, Kanda inspected the total damages. _Damn, that's one hell of a hickey_. The area of skin was purplish and red, and the samurai noted that there was no bleeding. Even with his supernatural healing properties, it was going to take about fifteen minutes to a half-hour to heal. But did he really want it to go away so quickly? I mean, it was a love-mar- Kanda stopped abruptly. _I think I'm losing my mind._

On the bed, Allen was dozing off. With a start, he sat up and glanced into the darkness of the room. "Oi. Moyashi." Relief had never come so fast. The teen walked over the samurai leaning against the door. Kanda flicked on the lights, the brightness causing Allen to squint.

"Hey, where'd you get that bruise?" Kanda's ears perked. Did the idiot seriously not remember? Hmph. Probably a trauma-induced thing then. He didn't know why he was so disappointed.

"None of your business," the samurai responded shortly, "do you want dinner or not?"

Allen was puzzled. Kanda was annoyed, but he couldn't remember what had happened since seeing that god awful letter. Where was it now? The white-haired teen glanced over to the bureau. It wasn't there. Kanda, following the boy's line of sight, was relieved that he'd put the letter safely in one of the drawers.

"C'mon, let's get going." The two left the room, putting the afternoon's events behind them.

The many booths of Hershey Park were closing now. The dazzling sun had been replaced with the wan moon, and all around it stars glimmered with a soft light. All the rides were cast in an eerie silence, only the occasional _clank_ of equipment to be heard. It was already nearing midnight, and few customers were still there to make purchases. In a far corner of the resort, in the small tent-like space beneath the majestic Ferris wheel, laid Lector Osmond, moaning in pain.

"Where the fuck have I been?!" He scrunched up his face, shaking. The source was the index finger of his right hand. Blackening and infected, it had been cut clean off.

The last thing he recalled was being on the cruise and fighting with Scarlet. Oh, Lord, the God-awful bitch; he was glad that she wasn't here, or else he'd be in more agony than ever. Ah, yes. Everything started with that phone call…

_He'd been arguing with Scarlet again. They'd run out of money for the trip, as the woman had bought a new pair of expensive high heels to add to her overflowing collection. The atmosphere inside the cruise cabin was stifling, so they'd gone outside in hopes of fresh air soothing their tempers. Wrong. It was like adding fuel to the fire. _

_Just as they were about to leave to take a walk, Scarlet standing outside and impatiently tapping her feet, Lector heard the jaunty ring of his cell phone. He walked over to it, looking for the number. There was none. Curious, he put it to his ear. _

"_Hello?" _

"_May I speak with Mister Lector Osmond?" The voice was male, low and dark, but somehow Lector couldn't put down the phone. _

"_Y-you got him. Whaddaya want?" _

"_I would like to interest you in a deal. I understand that you have been pressed for money as of late." _

_How did the bastard know?! "E-err, yeah. But what's it to you?"_

"_Here is my proposition, Mister Osmond: For ten thousand dollars, I would like you to gain the trust and affections of a youth named Allen Walker. He is fifteen, with snow-white hair and a pentacle above his left eye." _

_Was this guy shittin' him? Ten grand!! "You're serious, right?" _

"_Is my sum too low? Should I raise it? Or perhaps, _lower_ it?" _

"_N-no! I'll do it! Gimme the cash, ya hear?" Lector inwardly cheered. He was going to be rich, and he wasn't giving a single penny over to Scarlet. _

"_Meet me at the end of the corridor on the third level. You will receive your payment there. _If_ you complete your task."_

_Lector rushed out the door, excited. But his mood was dampened when Scarlet began bickering with him once more, and he was about to strike her when- Oh ho! The target himself approached him. Lector began trying to flirt with the youth, but when he saw the expression on Allen's companion's face, he deepened his attempts. The anger on that Asian boy's features was simply too funny! _

_After Allen was whisked away by the long-haired kid, Lector, convinced he'd done his job, walked to the third level. Scarlet had long since abandoned him, preferring to go into the gift shop, and saying, "We're OVER, jerkwad!" He'd only smiled, grin stretching, growing larger. _

_He was almost to the corridor when he spotted a long, slim hand encased with a black, velvet glove holding out a huge, thick wad of money. Immediately, Lector ran to get it. There was a flash of red- and no more. _

At the present, Lector was more than irked. He was freaking enraged. Not only did he fail to receive his payment, he felt like he was in hell from his amputated finger. Suddenly, a memory of him writing a letter in blood flooded his mind. The hell? So that's where his finger had gone?? Horribly afraid, he had to get out of this place! It wasn't safe, damn it… Starting to stand, he turned around and collided with a figure cloaked in black.

"Who the fuck are you?!" Lector sweated, brow drenched in perspiration. The person was almost entirely covered by the cloak so that all he could see was a pair of thick, swirly glasses perched on a veiled nose. This guy was dangerous, Lector could tell that much.

"My, my. Such vulgar language." The figure showed no sign of leaving, so Lector, furious, took several swings at his face.

"G-GET AWAY FROM ME! AWAY!!" Tears began running down his face, and as the figure laughed, he blindly punched once more. Trembling, Lector realized he'd connected.

The glasses fell to the ground, the _thump_ loud as the beating of Lector's fearful heart. "It looks like _someone's_ a little too frisky today." With untraceable motions, the person's arm rushed forward. There was a sickening _crunch_. A scream.

Lector hyperventilated, staring at his stump of an arm, real vessel laying several feet away. Blood pooled beneath him, intermixing with sweat and spit dripping from his mouth. _THAT VOICE…_ He recognized it now! He tried to get up, pleading with his legs, but the figure chuckled with manic glee.

"_You're not going anywhere, Mister Osmond._" Lector's mind went into overdrive. Sobbing, pulse leaping in his chest, he started to write quickly with his detached arm, ignoring the absolute torture of sand particles rubbing into his bare, skin-less flesh. _Save me, somebody SAVE ME!!_

"Writing a note, eh? No one's going to come here. Pity this isn't a more popular place, Mister Osmond." True, the Ferris wheel was the least popular ride in the entire park. Lector ignored the man in front of him, frantically writing for his life.

"Not listening, eh? Well, this note will cost you, then…" Lector had just completed his words when a hand collided with his face. _Pop. Pop. Pop. _Lector couldn't make a sound as his captor wrenched each of his teeth from his mouth. Now that his swirly glasses were gone, the man's eyes gleamed red. Red as the tranquil night sky. Red as the liquid slowly drenching, congealing on Lector's clothing. A murderer's shade.

Red.

Red.

Red.

Color the world.

Red.

--

A/N: Please tell me if I should change the rating of Kanda Candy to "M" instead of "T." I'm so nervous at this chapter… It's definitely very risky. But so will the next chapter, I'm sure of it… DX


	14. Lollipops, Pizza, and Cosmopolitans

A/N: Wow, that last chapter was kinda (ok, _very_) freaky. But it was fun to write, so brace yourselves for more! Also, the events in this fic are a little AU-ish, but bear with me, 'kay? XD

--

It was a true fact that Kanda was an early riser. He enjoyed seeing the world in the fresh, new light of morning and the fragrant dew-tipped grasses before the sun had yet to shine. He relished the privacy endowed upon him when no one else rose yet. And the crisp, fresh air was simply wonderful during training. However, there was one way that Kanda _loathed_ being woken up, and to his horror it revolved around a certain little bean sprout.

_Mmm… damn the blankets here are heavy_, thought Kanda blearily, giving the alarm clock by the bed a quick glance. It was five minutes before six o'clock. How strange. The samurai always got up at exactly six, no earlier, and definitely not later. He blinked once and deemed the room as rather humid, in addition to noticing a peculiar weight on his torso. What could it- OH MY FREAKING GOD.

Kanda's face was partially covered in drool, and the "weight" on his body was none other than Allen himself, forehead resting on his chest. The Japanese teen swallowed once, and than immediately wished he hadn't. His neck felt extremely _wet_. Damn it, first with the fucking biting, and now with all the spit? _Please_ tell me Moyashi didn't lick him in his sleep, hallucinating about all sorts of food. That weren't soba. Wait-would some action be a… bad thing? Kanda shivered slightly. _Ah, I understand. The flow of oxygen to my brain is being restricted. No wonder I'm acting SO FUCKIN' RETARDED_. With shaking hands, Kanda threw Allen off the bed, his ego barely inflating when he saw that he'd been able to make the boy turn three rotations in mid-air before colliding with the ground. But what surprised him even more was that the white-haired youth didn't even wake up.

Running into the bathroom, Kanda ripped off his clothes and leapt into the shower where he immediately turned on the- COLD WATER!! It was abso-freakin'-lutely _freezing_! "Gyahhhergh," cried the samurai in early morning speak, roughly translated as, "What is wrong with this cruel world? Can't a man even have a decent shower? That's it, I'm fucking suing."

But, being the highly in uptight person he is, Kanda managed to stay put for another whole ten seconds before leaping out, teeth chattering. Clad in nothing but a towel, he quickly brushed his teeth. While doing so, the samurai saw that the hickey Allen had given him was gone. Well, no surprise there. Kanda's recovery time was unnaturally fast, but he was left with mixed feelings on this particular healing. He was almost sorry to see the bite mark go.

When he stepped out, a groan escaped his lips. No, not the "harder, damn it!" kind of groan, but the "I've only been up for twenty minutes, without any coffee, and you hit me with _this_?!" type. Allen, still unconscious, had stained the carpet a grotesque shade of acid green from drooling. "Close your mouth!" hissed Kanda, standing by the boy, who smiled tenderly. _Ugh, why the hell does he have to be so fucking cute? _The samurai picked him up, putting him on the bed. Work didn't start for another forty-five minutes.

"Kanda," moaned Allen, flushing. The long-haired exorcist leaned in closer to hear. "Kaanda…"

Heart thumping, Kanda blushed. What was Moyashi doing? "Kanda, stop it… I can't do it anymore." _Good heavens, is he really thinking what I think he's thinking which is not necessarily _not_ what I'd want for him to think?_

"I can't eat anymore dangoooo…" WHAM. Coughing, Allen woke up just in time to have a pillow shoved in his mouth and to hear the door of the bathroom slam closed.

Half an hour later after having a quick breakfast, the pair went down to Scarlet's lair dressed in their designated uniforms, although Allen was sulking. What in the world had he done to make the samurai so enraged? They hadn't even made eye contact since rising. And these shorts were so damn tight. Damn.

When they arrived, said busty woman was taking deep drags from a cherry cigarette and flicking ashes onto the keyboard of her computer. She brightened considerably when catching sight of Kanda.

"Hello, sweetie pie! How was yer first night? Sorry it's a little cramped, Yuu, darling. Mr. Lee's orders." (Insert flirtatious giggle and hacking cough from inhaling part of cigarette butt. Not cool, sis. Not cool.) "Anyway," Scarlet continued, "Yuu's going to work in the kitchen of the restaurant Pink Panther, which is pretty far from the hotel, near the bumper cars. I'll drop by, 'kay?" She made goo-goo eyes repetitively, her false lashes threatening to cause permanent blindness.

Allen coughed suggestively. "Cough, cough," said Allen.

"Awww, Yuu! What's that big thing strapped to yer side? Ya can't have knives or whatever in a five-star eatery like Pink!"

"I-probably-have no intention of using Mugen during my job hours. Think of it as, err, decorations…?" Kanda finished somewhat lamely, grip on his trusty katana strong enough to crack a walnut and then juice an orange. Without the juicer.

"Ooh, yer a naughty boy! You must wan' me to take it from ya!" Before Scarlet, being the untrustworthy feline she is, could pounce, Allen had had enough.

"EXCUSE ME." The substitute manager blinked, as if finally registering there was a white-haired teenager standing in front of her desk in her extremely small, cramped office. That statement was idiotic on several levels, but I will neglect to point them out. I have enough faith in the readers for that.

"Oh. Hm. Yer a maid," droned Scarlet monotonously. Kanda sighed with relief, having escaped the clutches of the Demon Queen.

"Why, thank you _so_ much for divulging such important information critical to my employment!" Kanda raised his eyebrows, inwardly chuckling.

"Yer welcome!!"

"…" Allen smacked his palm on his head, letting out a little whine. Kanda quit laughing inside and proceeded to beat himself up for "impure" thoughts. Suddenly, a sprightly girl with wild hair poking out from all directions and dark skin burst into the room. She was equipped with a similar costume as Allen, and hungrily bit at lollipop.

"Miss Manager! Have you finished with the introductions? Work's already begun, but the new recruit hasn't shown up yet." The girl's golden eyes flashed to Kanda for the briefest of seconds and then reverted back to Scarlet. Immediately, the samurai's stomach sank.

"I'm going to work. Fuck, I'm late already." With that, he locked eyes with the cursed youth. _"Don't let your guard down."_

Allen grinned, feeling much relieved. "See you later then, alright? Don't kill anyone." _"I won't." _

As Kanda left, he couldn't help but think that something, anything, was wrong. Everything had shifted into a shadowy haze since the letter, and he sprinted through the crowds of people to get to Pink Panther.

"I'll take over from here, Miss Manager." The girl's tone was authoritative and sharp, but Scarlet merely rolled her eyes, having lost all interest in work.

Once outside, Allen was lead to the utility closet where they gathered a few cleaning supplies and headed to the first floor to visit any empty rooms. All the maids in the hotel had a partner so they could do their duties more efficiently, seeing the general largeness of the establishment. The exorcist and his company had gotten through one suite and were moving on when the girl smirked suddenly. Allen looked up.

"I just realized I never introduced myself to you, dear partner." The girl's grin was mischievous. "My name is Rhode Camelot. It is lovely meeting you."

"I'm Allen Walker. Nice to meet you, too." Rhode snickered, putting a thin hand over her mouth.

"You don't look like an Allen. Actually, to be more precise, you don't look like a maid at all! You're a guy." The petite girl shook with mirth, and Allen couldn't help but join in, albeit uneasily. "You're so interesting! And exactly co-worker I wanted, since you are way better than the _last_ girl." Allen and Rhode proceeded to walk to the next room, which was gargantuan in size.

"Holy crap, it looks like a bunch of kids had a food fight in here!! There's a pizza stuck on the ceiling!" Rhode pranced into the room, leaving Allen behind.

"Looks like we'll be here a lot longer than we thought." The white-haired teen tried to grin, but faltered as Rhode moved closer, handing him a mop. _Ugh, when does this job end??_

At the same time, a certain black-haired man was getting his ass handed to him three times over. A red-faced, mustachioed man (let's call him Mr. Melville, shall we?) was rapidly increasing his blood pressure while ranting about the sins of being late to work.

"IT'S YOUR FIRST DAY AT THE BLOODY JOB!!" Cried Mr. Melville, also the owner of the restaurant, "HOW DARE YOU? I WORKED MY FREAKING ASS OFF AT MY JOBS WHEN I WAS YOUNG! THAT'S HOW I GOT HERE! HERE! WHICH IS WHERE YOU'LL NEVER BE!" Kanda tuned his boss out without much difficulty, staring at the clean tiling of the kitchen floor, though he was still quite pissed off at being yelled at. What the hell did the guy want? For him to commit suicide?

"THERE IS SO MUCH TRASH IN THE WORLD THESE DAYS, THEY OUTTA JUST DIE!!" Mr. Melville glared at the offender currently standing in front of him. Kanda twitched.

"Well, excuse me for living," he muttered, just loud enough for everyone in the vicinity to hear.

"Oh, no he didn't!" someone whispered.

Mr. Melville when white. Then sucked in a great gust of air. The effects were enormous. "**ALL YOU LAZY FUCKS GET TO WORK!!**" Turning on his heel, the five foot four giant stomped away. A moment of silence passed. Then…

"Hahahahaha, I can't believe you just got away with that!" Kanda turned around to see a pink haired, bespectacled being leaning against the counter.

"And who might you be?"

"Why, I'm Melville's step brother, Jerry, also Head Chef. We opened this joint together. Needless to say, I think I take from the more normal side of the family, no?" Kanda felt like choking. How was this "normal"?

"I-I see," sputtered Kanda, and then jumped when Jerry affectionately laid a hand on his forearm.

"Hon, don't be scared o' this world. But either way, drop a word any time and you'll receive help from the Pink Panther himself!" The chef winked, and, smacking the samurai's derriere shouted, "Now get waiting!" Poor Kanda. Looks like he's become the prey of two jungle cats, one with a gravity-defying chest and the other a _pink_ panther. Oh dear.

_Well, I'd better get used to this_, thought Kanda. He took an order of soup, salad, and chicken casserole to a table, hair swishing, Mugen still strapped to his side. Needless to say, quite a few eyes were glued onto the waiter, and whispers of where the exotic man was from ensued. The samurai found himself increasingly restless, for carrying an infinite number of trays were no match for years of sword training. He didn't even feel the _burn_, the epitome of a rigorous work out! A fellow waiter came up to him, sweating, and attempted to make friends.

"Wow, you're sure good at this. You haven't even gone on a break yet!" The sad, deluded soul was further saddened when Kanda narrowed his eyes, death glare at 35 percent, and told him to fuck off. _Does he think I'm weak? That I need a break?! Well, I'll show him, that ass…_ (No, Kanda. That's wrong. He's trying to make frien- oh, forget it. Antisocial humbugs will never learn.)

Soon enough, work was nearly over. The dinnertime bustle had subsided slightly, and Kanda had lasted over twelve hours of continuous waiting, since the fondly dubbed Pink was very popular. And he _still_ wasn't tired. His fellow employees stared at him with mixtures of admiration, jealously, hate, and wonder. But the samurai scoffed, taking another two trays. He noticed it was nearing midnight, and wondered to himself whether or not Moyashi had eaten. At once, his own stomach grumbled. "Shut up," Kanda grumbled, a tad bit worried, just as Jerry swung in.

"You are a divine waiter from God, you know?" The chef then said kindly, "Only two more orders left in the night before we close down. Sorry, all the others left, but don't be so anxious. You can get back to your lover soon enough. Boyfriend, I presume?"

Kanda went red. "T-t-that's not what it is!" He raced past Jerry who was deep in memories of his own "snazzy" youth, and took the final two trays. One was for a family of five, parents looking exhausted and drained. They were listlessly reprimanding their three young children about having a food fight in the hotel room and sticking a pizza on the ceiling. Kanda gave them their food, nonplussed. At last, at last! The last order. Now Kanda could go back and check on Allen. Not that he wanted to. He merely thought he should.

"Weird." Kanda looked at the sophisticated looking cosmopolitan balanced on his serving dish. He talked to Jerry before, and Pink was mostly a family or everyday restaurant with exceptional food. It did not have a bar. But then again, Jerry _had_ boasted he could make anything and everything… Kanda walked up to a tall, curly-haired man dressed in a luxurious suit, including coattails. From his breast-pocket poked the frame of a pair of thick, cracked glasses. His long fingers were encased in white, satin gloves, and a top hat rested on the seat beside him. This man's facial features reminded Kanda of someone, but he wasn't exactly sure who.

"Thank you very much, my dear waiter." The corners of the man's mouth curved upwards. "I do need this drink. But, may I inquire as to your name?" The voice, smooth as silk, rich, decadent, utterly hypnotic… Kanda scowled. This guy was dangerous.

"What's it to you?"

Blinking at the brusque answer, the man gave a short, bark-like laugh. "Now, is that how a server should treat his patron? _Is it?_" As though he'd been plunged into an ice cold bath Kanda inhaled sharply. _Akuma? No, I don't think so. He's far too… complex for those retarded weapons._

Taking a sip of the cosmopolitan, the man motioned to the chair across from him. "_Sit."_

_Fuck no_, hollered Kanda angrily in his mind, _I'm not losing to this douche! _"Sorry. It looks like my shift just ended. I-" The man had stood up, walked over to the samurai, and gripped his shoulder tightly. Kanda glared, his heart pounding.

"For future references, my name is Tyki Mikk." With a soft, amused chuckle, the man exited Pink swiftly. After waiting a moment to see if Tyki had disappeared, Kanda left as well. He'd been contracting ominous feelings, notions of chagrin, the airs of an unfortunate atmosphere all day.

Kanda sprinted towards the hotel. He had to see Allen, _now_.

--

Ah, what could it be? I find unveiling characters to be insanely fun. Anyways, I've decided to keep the rating till the next chapter or two. By then, I'll have decided. But for now, it's till "T." XP


	15. The Things I Want

A/N: Just to be clear, this fic is a little AUish, so Allen and Kanda haven't met Tyki or Rhode before, yet they still know that Noah exist, along with the Millenium Earl. Phew! XD

--

_I've got to get to the hotel... I've got to see Allen!_ Thoughts raced in Kanda's head as he speeded down the empty streets, adrenaline rushing through his veins with fervor. The darkened buildings blurred as the frenzied samurai increased in speed, his jet-black hair waving languidly in the air. The sky was a thick, ominous gray, opressive and unyielding. No moon shone, not even a mere thread of light, but Kanda plunged on nonwithstanding, soon reaching the parking lot in front of the back exit.

It came out of no where.

"Oh my motherfu-!" Kanda couldn't perceive anything as a collosal, gleaming vehicle slammed into his body, but he heard the terrible _squeal _of tires rubbing on asphalt, the friction causing foul smoke to pollute the still atmosphere. _SNAP. _Then a thud. A sickening _crack_... the pitter patter of anxious footsteps... and once more the sound of an engine being gunned to the limit in a hasty retreat.

Meanwhile, Allen and Rhode had been sitting in the cafeteria, enjoying the last remnants of dinner. The cursed teen had felt peckish (AKA hungry enough to _consider_ asking Cross for food, which is AKA very hungry. Very. Times infinity. Yep.) after changing into a clean shirt and pants borrowed from the utility closer. Or, more accurately, only Allen was doing so. Rhode had finished hours before, and had taken to sipping ice water. Smiling, the coquettish girl glanced fondly at the cursed youth who had finally subsided in his rampant eating.

"I'm so glad we met, Allen!" Rhode grinned, "Not only has work been much easier, but it's fun, too." Allen took a swig of hot cocoa.

"Yes. Err, I'm pretty glad, too. I guess." _Where's Kanda? I wanted to eat with him but I guess not. Hmph. I'll just wait up for him then. _The exorcist took a breath. Odd; although Rhode was so small-statured, she gave the air of having control of the entire area. It was as if those golden eyes could see all, that her being was completely omnipresent.

"So, tell me about yourself, why don't you?"

"Uh, sure. What would you like to know?" At this request, Rhode suddenly grew animated, speaking a whirlwind of words a minute.

"What's your favorite bookcolorcandymoviefoodmusic? Are you right handed? Left handed? Do you play an instrument? Pianocelloviolinoboe?? What brand of detergent do you use? Is it Woolite? I use Woolite! Woolite smells nice, don't you think, Allen? Do you read any magazines? Tell me your three sizes- I like candy. I know you do too, right? Right?"

"Um..." Allen paused uncomfortably at Rhode's intense gaze. "Candy's pretty good, yeah?"

"I knew you'd agree with me! Excellent! I was sure we'd match in every aspect, Allen." Suddenly, Rhode turned grave. "Allen, to tell you the truth, I was pretty nervous when I first heard you were coming."

Ears perking, the white-haired youth questioned, "Why?"

"I just... I never had many whom I could have bonded with. They didn't understand me, I guess, and I always ended up alone. No matter what. No matter how hard I tried. No matter."

Allen blinked. He could entirely empathize with Rhode's feelings. He himself had been new at the Black Order not long ago, and traveling with (insert swearword) Cross guaranteed him a nomad lifetime and solitude. A rush of familiarity stunned him; where would he be without the Order's soothing words of "welcome home," each time he returned from a mission.

"It hurts a lot, I know that much." Allen smiled, "But throughout it all, where would we be as people if everything was that damn easy?"

At once, Rhode tipped her head down_. Oh, I'm so _happy, she thought, reddening slightly. With a gentle look, she opened her mouth once more to speak_- SLAM_. The noise of a heated collision rang in the empty room, and Allen stood up abruptly, taking long strides to the window.

"What was that?" He peered out, squinting. "It was like something crashed."

"Maybe it was some kinds messing around. It happens all the time, so don't let it get to you."

"Sorry, Rhode. But it's giving me this weird feeling."

"Like I said, it happens all the time, Allen!" Rhode looked more frantic now, and she peered outside as well.

"Huh, I think the parking lot's right by here. Wasn't that were we went to get extra supplies other than the store room?"

"Yes, but-" Allen began walking away.

"I'll see you later, Rhode. Good night." And with that, he was gone.

Speechless, Rhode slumped onto the floor. She snapped her neck forward, as if all strength had fled from her form. Alone. She was alone. _Alone, alone, alone... It aches, it hurts... make it go away, anyone! Help me!! _Rhode took her head into her arms, knotting her fingers through tousled hair. Why. Why. Why was everything always this way? A cruel twist of fate? A sadistic whimsy of God? Rhode's mouth turned in a frown. If so, then she wouldn't believe in God. There is no such thing as fate. No such thing as heaven. And no such thing as hell.

_I want, I want, I want, I want, I want... I want the world. I want it. Give it to me, so that all is mine. Then I'll never, ever, ever..._

_I want, I want, I want_. Please. Please.

As he exited the cafeteria, Allen felt something was amiss with Rhode, but he still noticed an even more troubling aura that truly bothered him. He searched briefly in the lobby, and then the first and second floors. He neglected going further because the sound had come relatively close, and anyhow, other vacationers would have already come down to complain if the noise was that high up.

_Outside. It's time to check outside_. Allen briefly scoured the front, cursing the sheer vastness of the hotel. Then he circled around to the back-and screamed.

"_KANDA!_"

The crumpled body of the samurai laid forlornly on the gritty pavement, sprawled ungracefully in a thick pool of blood. His beautiful, glimmering hair was now dusty and dull, a curtain hiding his face. Allen rushed forward, dropping to his knees. Good Lord, what had happened?

With shaking hands, he swept the dirtied locks from Kanda's visage, and gasped. The pale, porcelain color of the Japanese exorcist's face was shocking, contrasting sharply to the bright, jaunty redness dribbling down his chin.

Allen gathered Kanda in his arms and sprinted to the lobby where he yelled for help. Melissa entered after what seemed like centuries, yawning.

"Why the hell are you... shout... ing..." Her mouth open, she seized her thick ring of keys and hollered into the hotel phone, "EMERGENCY MEDICAL STAFF!" Several minutes later, a team of slightly disheveled doctors arrived, and transported Kanda to the Med Center. Allen tried to come as well, but was pushed away. There was no need for nuisances.

Out of her element, Melissa bid a quick "Later!" and fled, leaving Allen to his own devices. No. He refused to even _consider_ that this could have happened. But... _It's nearly four in the morning. Kanda must've worked till past midnight. And I _left_ him out there. How fucking could I?!_ With a cry of anguish, Allen slammed his fist into the wall. Again and again, each time harder than the next.

This continued for two hours.

"Mister Allen Walker!"

Pulled out of his sorrow, Allen raced to the voice, leaving the decimated wall behind him. It was one of the Medical staff.

"You are Mister Kanda's traveling companion, correct?"

"Y-yes." Allen swallowed; the term "companion" had never seemed so estranged, so cold.

"We've got a problem at the patient's ward."

Immediately, Allen thought of the most terrifying images. "Y-you didn't a-a-amputate his-"

"No, no. He's in stable condition, although I've got to say, it looked pretty bad when he came in." The doctor and Allen had reached the center now, and proceeded to Kanda's room. "He broke one of his legs, his left arm, and four ribs; tore a muscle in his right, as well as multiple cuts and lacerations." Allen froze. "By what I'd have to say, it looks like someone hit him with some sort of van or truck and then ran over him several times."

"But he's a-alright now, so what's the p-problem?"

"He's actually pretty energetic for his condition. I'm sure he'll make a full recovery, but it's just that he's not taking his medicine. Something about 'healing by himself'. Can you talk to him?"

Allen gripped the handle of the door hard, and the doctor patted him on the back once before departing. The exorcist opened it and tears fell from his eyes.

Kanda, like a limp, rag doll, had been propped up by pillows. Half of his limbs were in bulky casts and his chest was covered in bandages. A patch covered his right cheek, and his breathing was shallow, low, untraceable. Allen moved slowly to his sleeping form, putting a hand on his forhead. Suddenly, he became enraged. _Whoever fucking did this to Kanda is fucking dead. I'll beat the crap out of them_.

"Moyashi?" The soft, whispered sound Kanda issued from his lips nearly made Allen whimper in agony, but he resisted.

"Yes, Kanda. I'm here." The black-haired exorcist's eyes flew open at once, and he attempted to sit up, but Allen pushed him back down. In a stronger voice, he began to speak.

"Are you alright? I was pretty, um... maybe a little, worried." Allen started to laugh at the situation, crying at the same time.

"?!" said Kanda, edging away from the blubbering beanspout.

"Y-you have no idea how scared I was when I s-saw," Allen sniffed, and Kanda scoffed weakly.

"You cry so fucking much," muttered the samurai, yet for some strange reason he rejoiced within his battered body.

Allen wiped his nose. "Anyhow, you need to take your medicine!" He noticed a pill and a glass of water, both untouched, beside Kanda's bed.

"No way."

"What? Why?"

"Don't need some crappy shit screwin' up my body."

"You're body's screwed up enough as is."

"Shut up."

"You shut up. And take the pill."

"Look, I'm healing fast already."

"As if."

"Fuck, Moyashi!"

"If you want to."

"... I don't need the fucking pill. I'm fine by myself. Look, the scratches on my face are gone already, right?"

"Woah! How'd you do that?"

"A flower?" (Insert pause as Allen LOLZ.) "Whatever, I'm fine."

"Then can you walk? Can you wield Mugen?"

"FUCK! WHERE _IS_ MUGEN?!"

Allen noticed Kanda growing agitated, and hastily tried to calm him down before he was kicked out. "It's probably outside in the parking lot. I'll get it after work, 'cause my shift's not that long."

"FUCKFUCKFUCK, I NEED TO GET IT NOW!" Kanda refused to listen to Allen's "a few hours of waiting won't hurt" speech and threatened to impale the white-haired youth on his IV. The samurai stopped, wincing. Regenerating was more painful than not when used in the long-term, and broken bones were hardly an exception. Cackling inside, Allen seized this opportunity.

"Hey what are you- mmph!"

Allen had popped the pill into his mouth and swiftly bent over to meet Kanda's open mouth. The boy felt the samurai swallow, but the demonic monster in his brain told him to continue. Gripping long, black hued locks, Allen gently worked his tongue through to meet the older teen's. Kanda shivered, and, using his good arm to steady Allen's head, carefully moved his tongue to pass over the roof of cursed youth's mouth.

Allen was the first to break off, and he panted heavily, wiping the trail of saliva from his lips. He glanced at Kanda, but was a bit displeased to find him asleep already. Turning a bright red, he ran out of the room to go to work.

Kanda cocked one eye open. He sighed, a blush tinging his light complexion.

"Baka Moyashi."

--

Yay! 1st Kiss! (And hopefully more to come!) XP


	16. Return of the Messenger

Hey everyone! My god, it's been a hell of a long time since I've updated. But don't be discouraged! This fic still has life… I think.

--

"Um, Allen?" It was the last job of the day, and Rhode sighed as the white-haired youth vacuumed the carpet noisily. Not that that was a problem, no, not at all! It was just that Allen had been cleaning the crap out of approximately one square foot of carpet for over an hour now, or rather, the few stringy threads remaining of what once was a glorious… err, patch of threads.

Rhode narrowed her eyes. Something had happened, she was sure of it, and these assumptions only increased her panic and her insecurities. She opened her mouth and screamed, "Allen!"

Allen jerked awake and stumbled into the wall behind him, tripping over the vacuum cleaner's chord in the process. "Oh my GOD, WHO ripped up the carpet?! SPEAK TO ME! WHO RIPPED UP THE CARPET?!!" Growing more and more incensed, he gave the vacuum a swift kick and shrieked, "Who's boss now, huh?"

The vacuum cleaner sprung to life and ate Allen's shorts.

"…" Said Allen. Then he lunged at the apparatus after declaring, "It's bloody on now, bitch!"

Rhode stood by in a stupor. What in the world was going on here? She thought about stopping Allen, but controlled herself when she saw that his apron and shirt was getting sucked up as well. _Some things can wait_, she pondered deviously, cursing that she didn't have her camera at this moment.

After the five minute tussle in which it was obvious who was victor and loser, a humiliated Allen in nothing but his underwear (_Polka-dots!_ Cackled Rhode happily.) collapsed on the ground while the vacuum continued to zoom about, wreaking havoc.

_Damn it all_, thought Allen tiredly, rubbing his eyes. _If Kanda were to see me now, he'd be laughing his bum off_. At the thought of the samurai, the youth turned a delicate pink and his lips tingled slightly. "Argh, I gave that bloody idiot his medicine just like the people in those little manual things Lenalee gave me did!" Allen paused for a moment. "Those manuals were rather graphic though… err, doujinshis were they called?"

Meanwhile, back at the Black Order, Lenalee suddenly threw her head back in a spasm of laughter that lasted for several minutes. Komui had his phone poised at "9-1-." the entire time, thumb quivering with intensity over the final "1".

Anyhow, Rhode had already turned off the vacuum and surveyed Allen, who had his knees drawn up to his chest and was blushing lightly. He had murmured a name… Kan… Kanda?

Rhode froze. That Japanese son of a bitch.

The lithe girl ran up to Allen and pushed him down, pinning him roughly to the ground. Eyes wild, she leaned in closer until they were nose to nose.

"R-Rhode!" gasped Allen, shocked. He tried to wiggle out of the way, but Rhode stayed firm. "Rhode, y-you're acting s-strange…"

"Strange, am I?" Rhode began tearing up, "You think I'm _strange_, Allen?"

Allen stopped, contemplating what to say. His next words were important, he knew that much.

"I think you're… interesting. Um, yes. Very, very interesting." He gave a rather strained smile.

"Allen, I think you're absolutely wonderful and amazing and I'd do anything for you! Anything at all, just tell me!"

Rhode brushed her lips on the bewildered youth's and whispered, "I'd give you anything… money, power, my body…"

This was enough for Allen. "Rhode! You're acting completely MENTAL! Get away from me!" he cried, finding the energy to shove her off roughly.

"_Don't you love me_, Allen? I LOVE YOU! I love you so much it hurts! God, Allen, why can't you see this?!" She tried to close the space between them by crawling up to his side and grabbing his shoulders.

"I love you…"

"Y-you're crazy!"

"I'd kill to be with you, Allen! I'd tear my own life to shreds if that makes you happy." Rhode was openly sobbing now, raw sounds emerging from her throat.

Allen turned away. "You're not the one who can make me happy, Rhode." He quickly exited the room, leaving the girl alone.

"No… No… NO! IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS!" screamed Rhode in agony, scratching her arms and kicking against the floor.

"That bastard! That fucking bastard! Allen's mine, you… you…"

Her face suddenly blank as marble, she muttered, "Yuu Kanda. I… I _hate_ you."

Then she fell into tears again.

--

Allen stopped by the supply closet and swiped a pair of black pants and a button down white shirt. It was beginning to get dark once more, and he knew he'd better stop by the parking lot soon. Kanda would kick his ass if he found out Mugen had been run over by a car, or worse, stolen.

Going down a flight of stairs, Allen ran into Scarlet and tried to run away, but the woman screeched, "Allen!" before he could escape.

"Hello, Miss Hale." Allen decided to gun it: "How-are-you-this-evening-oh-look-at-the-time-I-must-get-going-see-you-bitch-I- mean-manager!"

"A-Allen, you seen Lector anywhere? He's gone missin'. I haven't seen him in _days_, oh Lord…" Scarlet was barely wearing any makeup, and her hair was flat and knotty.

"Don't be worried about him, I'm sure he'll turn up soon," said Allen off-handedly, scooting down further the staircase.

"It 'aint _him_ I'm worried about! It's all the others I'm scared for. I think somethin' bad's happenin', Allen. I heard my Yuu-pie was nearly killed the other day… You gotta watch out, Allen. You gotta tell Yuu to watch out, too." Scarlet exhaled deeply, leaning against a banister.

"… Alright." Allen dashed off before the damn skank could waylay him any longer, heart troubled.

"Don't go out alone at night!" shouted Scarlet, shaking on her stilettos, but Allen was too far away to hear.

--

_Fuck. Where is Moyashi? He's late. _Kanda fidgeted in bed, picking at his arm cast. His arm was pretty much healed, but the fucking quacks weren't buying any of it. Again, he glanced out into the still darkness and grimaced slightly.

The lights abruptly went out.

Turning this way and that, Kanda's eyes blindly darted around the pitch-black room. He jumped when a pair of cool hands caressed his face.

"What the fuck?!"

"Ah, there's no need for such vulgarities, Mr. Kanda. I'd prefer if you'd use a more _civilized _tone with me."

Kanda recognized this voice… It was that bastard from the restaurant, what was his name?

"Tyki… Mikk." Growled Kanda. He could see a glint of a smile in the darkness.

"You remembered my name! How courteous of you, my dear samurai."

At this, Kanda swung out with his one good arm, but Tyki dodged and laid a heavy blow to the dark-haired teen's stomach. Kanda coughed harshly, wincing at the pain. The hands moved from his face to his neck.

"I could end everything now, Yuu Kanda." Tyki applied pressure and Kanda began to gasp. "I could finish off your life right at this very moment. At least, that's what I'm supposed to do, hm?"

The samurai was fighting for air now, but no matter how hard her clawed at Tyki's hands, they would not budge.

"I have no problems killing you at this very moment," Tyki said smoothly, "But where would all the fun be at that?"

He released his grip on Kanda's neck, and gave a little amused chuckle.

Kanda evened out his breathing and hissed, "Killing me? That's what you're _supposed_ to do?"

Tyki opened the windows and balanced on the sill, looking back on the samurai. The light of the young moon illuminated the stretched, Cheshire grin on his face.

"Yuu Kanda, I am a messenger, a messenger from love's thorny brambles. A messenger, which is I, and nothing more."

The man disappeared, leaving Kanda stunned, but no longer in the dark.

--

Allen was growing more and more exasperated as time went on. He couldn't find Mugen anywhere on the parking lot, despite searching for over thirty minutes. The moon had just risen, and Allen cursed the fact clouds were beginning to collect.

_Zzrt_! The streetlamps surrounding the lot were beginning to light now, and they illuminated the perimeter eerily, casting shadows all around.

There was a heavy thud.

Allen turned around quickly, heart thumping. In the flickering yellow of a lamp there was Mugen, glittering slightly under the glow. Relieved, Allen sprinted towards it, reaching out with both hands.

There was a low moan.

The white-haired youth froze, his fingers just touching the sword, and looked up. Towering about him was the giant Hershey's bar costume.

Allen fought the urge to laugh, but upon further inspection, his eyes widened.

Stain, upon stain, upon stain of dark, red liquid splattered the suit, and the bare legs that protruded from the costume were covered with blood.

The person was missing an arm, the stump covered in sand and debris and leaking putrid pus that dripped wetly on the ground. A _clik_ sounded, and the person slowly raised a gun, glinting ominously, and stepped towards the youth.

Allen grabbed the sword and ran.

--

Ah, further development. XD

Message me if you think you can unravel this mystery before it ends! (Believe me, it shouldn't be hard.)


	17. I'll Protect Your Innocent Eyes

The hotel was quiet and still, the thick darkness of night muffling all sounds. Yet deep within a deserted hallway sounded a high, pathetic sobbing, echoing against the well-furnished walls like the sad mewling of a lone kitten. The noise intensified into harsh bawling, but no one seemed to hear. Except for one person.

"Rhode, do you know it's rather unsightly for you to be acting this way?" Tyki Mikk examined his glove carefully, eyes averted from the shivering mass huddled besides him. "It will all be over tonight. Stop crying. You're staining the carpet."

"B-but, Tyki!" Rhode wiped at her face with a drenched sleeve, "Allen hates me now… and even if everything I want succeeds, who says he'll like me even after that? He'll probably just shun me. Shun me like all the others. Like all of the hypocrites, the monsters, the cruel, insensitive beings of life have already done."

Tyki exhaled slowly and lit a cigarette. "If he hates you, then he hates you. It's your choice to leave it that way, or change the situation."

"Tyki, you tactless dumbass!" Rhode grimaced as a tear slid down her cheek. "You have no idea how I'm feeling! You're just like all the others! Ugh, I can't do anything. I'm scared, and it's all out of control now. And the worst thing is… I'm all alone. I'm _alone_. Oh god…"

The curly-haired man's face became grave. _Oh Rhode, you have no idea about anything. You're all alone? Give me a break. You'll never be alone. I'll make sure of that._

And with that thought, Tyki lifted the still-weeping Rhode from her place on the floor and carried her off in hopes of cleaning her up, just in time for the grand finale.

--

_I've got to get to Kanda! Holy shit, how did this all happen?!_ Allen sprinted for his life, far away from the hideous beast that was hot on pursuit. He managed to get to the samurai and lock the door to his infirmary room before the _thing_ managed to get in and threw Kanda his sword, panting, brow beaded with sweat.

"What the hell's up with you, Moyashi?" Kanda inspected Mugen, satisfied that there were no nicks for scratches on the smooth metal. He sliced open his casts and cut his bandages, revealing perfectly healed limbs. He gripped the katana in his hand, savoring the weight, but reverted his attention back to the anxious youth.

"T-t-t-there's a… giant… Hershey bar with a freaking gun that's trying to kill us!!!" Allen trembled at the memory. How could such a delicious food be so evil? He hoped that a giant Hershey's Kiss wouldn't join his brethren and attack as well.

"Are you fuckin' kidding me? A Hershey bar? God, you must be hallucinating. Did you eat dinner?"

"You have to believe me! I'm serious, It was hiding behind a street lamp near Mugen!"

"_Right_, and now I expect you'll want to add that a giant Hershey's Kiss was also-"

BANG. BANG. BANG.

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?"

Three bullet had pierced through the door, holes still smoking. Allen and Kanda had narrowly avoided being hit, and the samurai finally realized that they were truly in danger.

"Alright, Moyashi. I believe you. Shit, what do we do now?"

"I don't know, but I suppose the only thing we can do is fight."

Kanda detected no further noises from behind the door, and took a step towards the exit. Suddenly, he was hit by an odd thought. _Moyashi said It was hiding near Mugen, which was located close to a street lamp, hence my sword was in a well-lit area where a murder could be seen easily. Why there? If It was out to kill, then why not ambush from by a hotel entrance? The staff's turned off the lights by now. That would be far more effective. It must have been waiting for someone._

Allen, who had been watching the door, gave a start. Almost imperceptible, there was a low whine from behind the wood, and soft, wet thump. "Kanda! It's still there!" He hissed. He activated his innocence and went into a battle stance.

Kanda also prepared his weapon. _Could it be possible that someone knows about my healing skills? That Tyki guy! This place is filled with abnormal beings. Akuma? No. Then perhaps _Noah_. And tonight… _I'm the one they want to kill!

THUNK. THUNK.

"Shit, It's trying to get in!" Allen hissed.

"I'm attacking. The door and the monster are going down!"

"How rude, Bakanda. You could at least invite him in before you cleave him in two." Allen narrowed his eyes. Something didn't feel right.

"Don't get smart with me, you stupid Beansprout! I'll do whatever the hell I want" Kanda raised Mugen, about to strike.

"WAIT!" Allen said grabbing the samurai's arm. "The Thing, it was using a normal gun to attack, no strings, no special abilities. My guess is that It's a human! As exorcists, we can't hurt humans!!"

"This is no time for kindness. It looks like the killer's about to break down the door."

The door broke down with a bang, and the exorcists leapt back. Lying, immobile on top of the door was the person in the candy bar costume, blood soaked and burbling to himself nonsensically, a gun glinting in his hand.

The lights went off.

"FUCK! What's happening?" Kanda swung his arm around blindly, wishing his eyes would adjust to the dark more quickly.

"You bloody moron! You nearly decapitated me!" Yelled Allen who's pupils had already dilated sufficiently. He breathed deeply and stared at the figure on the ground. "Do you think it's dead?"

"It might be. It's in pretty bad condition." Kanda stepped over to the killer and lifted it off the ground, snarling, "Who the fuck sent you?"

The thing twitched, and seemed to try to say something. Kanda dropped him and sliced the top off the costume.

"Talk, you bastard!"

The man's face was damaged beyond repair, festering and beaten to a bloody sludge. He rasped drily, looking around the room, his vision blurry.

"O-o-oh my g-god, Kanda," whispered Allen, grabbing his arm and said, "That's Lector! The man from on the ship. Oh, what the fuck's happened to him?!"

Kanda's eyes widened. "… Allen, don't look."

It was too late. The boy had dropped to his knees. "Who would do such a thing?" He said, hands clamped over his mouth. He looked at the mutilated body, still breathing, in so much pain, and felt absolutely sick to his stomach.

Kanda sighed. Allen was still a kid after all, only fifteen, and so he knelt besides the white-haired boy and took him in his arms, covering his eyes with long, slender fingers.

"I said, don't look." The Japanese youth could feel a tear wetting his hand and fully embraced Allen, turning him so that his back faced the abomination, so that he'd never have to see it again. Arms wrapped around the boy, Kanda's heart was beating rapidly and his face flushed upon the sudden contact. Despite the terrible scenario, his mind was soaring as he held Allen longer, and his attention averted to the soft body nestled against his chest.

That was a big mistake.

--

Back in an empty hotel room, Tyki had cleaned Rhode up and was know brushing her hair, the person in question sitting stonily in his lap.

"It's almost time, Rhode. Took long enough, didn't it?"

"Yes. But it hasn't happened yet, has it? Oh, Tyki, I'm so nervous!"

"Indeed, but just have patience. I'll make it all work for you, I promise." Tyki finished brushing and began braiding Rhode's hair. "Trust me, you'll definitely know when the time has arrived."

"Really? But I thought it was to be done in the parking lot."

"Oh, no. The location's changed, but the deed is still as it was. You'll find out soon enough."

A gun shot rang from several floors down, the sound cascading through the ear. Rhode gasped. Tyki secured the final braid and brought the girl to her feet.

"Just in time."

In the infirmary, there was dead silence. Kanda could barely believe that the blood blooming upon his shirt was real. He choked and looked at the boy in his arms who had previously been clinging to his body. Blood dribbled down the boy's chin and was spreading alarmingly across his clothing.

Allen wasn't moving.

--

Hey everyone! Ugh, again it's been several months since I've updated, and I am really sorry! I apologize for my negligence! DX

Kanda Candy is drawing to a close. The next chapter, which I will write and upload very soon, will be the last one. I'm going to tie all loose ends in the next chapter and include a giant dose romance between the ones you want it from the most! There was a sweet moment there with Kanda and Allen, but in the last segment, I'm going all out! I'd be honored if you stick with me 'til the end! :)


	18. FINALE

WARNING: Towards the end of this fic there is a love scene. Read with discretion if you do not wish to see it. If you do, then FULL STEAM AHEAD! XP

--

Lector lay spread-eagled on the floor, gun still smoking in his hand. His body mutilated and pushed beyond the limits of human perseverance, Lector was dead, a mere pawn in the midst of a sick twisted game.

Kanda still held Allen in his arms, disbelievingly staring at the boy whose company he had secretly grown to enjoy very much. There was so much blood, so much blood! The gore that stained the room made Kanda feel as though he were part of a disturbing painting, a deathly work of art, and he shuddered involuntarily. His hands slid upward to cup Allen's face with surprising tenderness.

"M-Moyashi?" he whispered, genuinely fearful for the first time since arriving at the resort. "Speak to me! Say something, damn it!"

Only silence answered him; not a sound escaped from Allen's lips.

"Oh god, it's all my fault… all my fucking fault! I'm… I'm sorry! I thought Lector was dead a-and I lost myself trying to play hero. I was so damn stupid. Hell, it was supposed to be _me_! _Me_ on the ground! _Me_, the corpse, not you!" Kanda lowered Allen down, hands giving him a final caress. "I don't deserve to be with someone like you."

"You're quite right."

Kanda looked up, alarmed, and leapt to his feet at once, standing in front of Allen's body, Mugen raised. "Tyki Mikk," he snarled, "It was you, wasn't it? You set this whole mess up! You were the one who tortured Lector to insanity and made him — made him —"

"Though I won't deny that I had a hand in Lector's decline in mental and physical health, I assure you I desire nothing of the boy." Tyki's brow furrowed dangerously and the atmosphere in the room seemed to crackle with tension. "I must say, though, the night has gone horribly wrong. Isn't that so, Rhode?"

From behind Tyki stepped out a spritely, waif-like girl whose golden eyes surveyed the wreckage unseeingly. As she walked closer to where Kanda stood, he could feel a mounting aura of intense rage and prepared for an attack.

Nothing happened.

Rhode knelt besides Allen's body quietly, hands folded nearly in her lap. Kanda glanced behind him, wary. If she tried anything on Allen, he'd show no mercy.

"Tyki, KILL HIM!"

The scream had been unexpected, and Tyki flew at the disadvantaged Kanda with unparalleled speed, producing a sharp blade from beneath his jacket With a swift strike, he had cut a jagged gash down Kanda's torso. Although not deep enough to kill, the wound was making the samurai lose blood fast. He didn't have much time left.

Kanda started forcing Tyki into a corner using quick movements of his blade. The two struggled with each other as the skill level continued to rise in their duel. Tyki, however, seemed to find it all rather amusing.

"Are you trying to end this already, Yuu Kanda? Trying to corner me and finish the job with one blow?" Tyki laughed mockingly, fending off the Japanese youth's blows with fervor. "Perhaps you want to get your little Allen to a hospital, hm? Too late for that, boy. He's already good as gone. Hmph, does that enrage you?" Tyki sneered for Kanda had faltered at his last comment, and he slashed at the samurai's neck, causing a torrent of blood to cascade down the his chest. Kanda stood back, glaring. "Don't you want to run away and save yourself? You know at this rate you're going to bleed to death just like poor old Lector here. Why stay and fight for a kid who's already dead? Run away Kanda! _You don't need him anymore_."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Kanda lowered his sword and drop-kicked Tyki squarely in the jaw and then stabbed him, thoroughly impaling the man whose laughter had yet to fade from his face.

"You son of a bitch!" shouted Kanda, "You have no idea how I'm feeling! I've just lost the person I fucking care most about! God, I'm so fucked up right now, I don't know what to do. Maybe I'll cut off a limb or two to show you just how much pain I'm in right now! Show you how much you've killed me inside!"

Kanda pulled out his sword from Tyki's torso, making the man groan in agony. He raised his sword above his head, about to lop off an appendage, when Rhode shrieked:

"Tyki!!" she hurried over to the gasping man and gripped his hand. "D-don't die! I've had enough of death tonight. Everything's gone wrong! It's not how I wanted at all!!" Her sobs wracked her lithe body, loud and uncontrollable. She turned to Kanda: "It was supposed to be YOU!" she screamed, clutching her head, "YOU needed to die, YOU!"

"So you're the one who caused all of this, who ruined my life." The samurai could hardly think from the sound of rushing blood in his ears. The pounding of his heart was taking over all of his senses.

"Allen was meant for me!" said Rhode shrilly, "He was the one who'd be my friend! He'd stay with me forever so I wouldn't be alone! But you ruined it, and now I'm going to suffer… all by myself, for the rest of eternity!!" She slumped back, defeated.

"You _stupid_ bitch." Hissed Kanda, balling his hands into fists. "You were never alone in the first place!"

"… W-what do you mean?" Rhode's eyes were wide with terror.

"All along, you had a man who'd kill for you, torture others, do anything to make you happy. And you turned a freaking blind eye to him with your childish obsession with a guy who only saw as a colleague! Nothing more!"

"LIES!" Cried Rhode, shaking her head.

"Trying to hide after all the shit you've pulled? Look at your feet. There's the man who was devoted to you. You were just never devoted to him."

Rhode looked at Tyki who was ashen faced and unconscious. Tears rolled down her cheeks, some falling onto his dirtied face and traveling down his cold cheeks as if he, too, were crying.

"R… Rhode…" whispered Tyki, "I'm… sorry."

Rhode gathered Tyki in her arms and wiped the tears from his visage. "Forgive me," she said shakily into his ear, and the two seemed to fade away in a cloud of black butterflies.

The silence in the room was overwhelming.

"Holy shit, Noah are messed up," muttered Kanda. Then he collapsed, weeping slightly, next to Allen's unmoving form.

--

Allen was at the circus. How he'd gotten there he had no idea, but the last thing he remembered was a sharp pain in his chest and before that, being held in Kanda's arms.

Wait a sec… HIM?! In Kanda's arms?! Allen blushed hotly, his body tingling. Before he could think further, he heard a voice calling him faintly.

"Allen, is that you?"

"… MANA!" Allen could hardly believe his eyes. He ran forward, forgetting all that was on his mind, and went to embrace the clown as though he were a child again. Sure enough, Mana was as solid as any being, and Allen could hardly contain his joy.

"Mana, how are you— how is it even possible—" Allen stuttered incoherently until Mana shushed him with a smile.

"We're going to see the festivities!"

"Are we?" Allen grinned, "And shall we participate in them?"

"Oh, no, we're merely bystanders today, dear boy. But perhaps another time we might." Mana led him inside an enormous green and white striped tent, and they watched trapeze artists flying through the air, weightless as leaves in a spring wind, men and animals sharing a stage and receiving boundless applause, good-natured clowns cavorting about the ring, inciting mirth from all who were present.

"It's quite full in here, isn't it, Mana?" Allen was quite enjoying himself and looked up to see if his friend was as well.

"Au contraire, Allen. We're the only ones in this entire place."

Allen gasped and spun around. The audience, the entertainers, they'd all vanished. The air had an ominous chill and the white-haired youth shivered, eyes darting about.

"Follow me." Mana led him down to the center of the ring and stood him there. "Listen, Allen. Can you hear anything?"

Allen closed his eyes, straining his ears. At first, all he noted was silence, but soon he uncovered a scratchy static sound in the background, like a radio that hasn't been fine-tuned. The static seemed to grow louder, then dissipate, louder, then dissipate, each time bringing a set of voices into definition. Allen could hear people speaking now, quite clearly, and paused to listen in.

"_Oh god, it's all my fault… all my fucking fault! I'm… I'm sorry! I thought Lector was dead a-and I lost myself trying to play hero. I was so damn stupid. Hell, it was supposed to be me! Me on the ground! Me, the corpse, not you!"_

Was that… Kanda's voice? But what was Kanda doing here? Allen was sure he was back at the hotel. Then…

"…_at this rate you're going to bleed to death just like poor old Lector here. Why stay and fight for a kid who's already dead? Run away Kanda! You don't need him anymore."_

Another man was talking, someone sinister whom Allen didn't recognize. Wait, was Kanda injured? No! Allen was about to open his eyes when he heard the samurai's voice again.

"_You son of a bitch! You have no idea how I'm feeling! I've just lost the person I fucking care most about! God, I'm so fucked up right now, I don't know what to do."_

Allen could scarcely believe his ears. Then, in a tender, torn and shattered voice, he heard Kanda say:

"_I don't deserve to be with someone like you."_

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Allen had burst out shouting. He saw Mana staring at him expectantly, and Allen asked, "Did all of this happen? Is Kanda alright? Who's he fighting?" Allen took a large breath. "Am I _dead_?"

Suddenly, all of the circus members and the crowd appeared once more, and the excitement and noise in the tent was just as it was before.

"Allen, we're going to see festivities!" Mana glowed, grabbing the boy's hand.

"Yes, you've told me that already, Mana, but I have to go help Kanda! I'm afraid he's hurt!"

"Allen, we're going to see festivities!"

"I know! Argh, Mana, let me go!!"

"Allen we're going to see festivities!" Mana leaned over to the cursed youth, "And you _aren't allowed to leave_."

Allen tried wrenching his way out of the clown's grasp, but it was too strong. The circus and the audience and the tent seemed to close in on him, one by one, so that he was suffocating under a cloak of bodies. "Allen, you must stay… stay with us…" they repeated, over and over, until he screamed out loud, bursting from within the tent to the glorious stretch outside the circus grounds. He gasped, drained, as though he hadn't slept for days, and soon the nightmare world he had entered swam before his eyes. He struggled to keep awake, for he wanted to find someone to tell him how he could get back to Kanda, but it was no use. The circus, the grass, the crowd, and Mana all weakened into a blur.

--

When Kanda awoke, he was lying down, bandaged, in a hospital bed. He was in a different room of the infirmary than last time, and Mugen was resting next to his bedside table against the wall. Kanda was alone.

"Ugh…" he moaned, pulling his knees to his chest, ignoring the pain of his actions. "Fuck… why did that girl realize that she wasn't alone before? Then this would've never…" Kanda exhaled shakily. "God damn it, why did she realize it only after she took away _my_ company? Now… _I'm_ alone. Fuck. And A-Allen's gone… forever…"

"No I'm not, Bakanda."

"HOLY SHIT!" Kanda whipped around and immediately regretted it. His wounds ached and he was forced to fall back in bed. "How the fuck— ? Wait a fucking—! Oh. My. God."

"Hmph. It looks like you're vocabulary hasn't increased since we last spoke, Kanda." Allen, standing in front of him, looked healthy and whole as ever.

"But the bullet wound! And you were as cold as friggin ice! And you weren't moving and—"

"Kanda, I think I died." Allen stopped, wincing at the tortured expression on Kanda's face, "But I came back to life." He added the last bit in with a bit more cheer, hoping to brighten the samurai's mood.

No such luck.

"Damn, Moyashi, you're like a freaking cockroach! You can't be killed! How many times has it been? Like eight?" Kanda had a scowl on his face again and folded his arms tightly.

"Moyashi?! And I thought you'd finally begun calling me by my proper name." Allen sighed. "But anyway, I woke up in a pool of blood and I was really confused. Then I saw you all beat up—"

"I was NOT all beat up!"

"— saw you on the floor looking like someone chucked you in a blender, added ice, some mint leaves, a slice of mango, and pressed 'crush'—"

"I AM WARNING YOU, MOYASHI."

"_Fine_. I saw you on the ground, happy? Then I alerted the medics, who also insisted I be evaluated as well, and insisted upon calling the Order to sort out this affair instead of the regular police since paranormal beings were involved. You should have seen Komui. He was furious, like: '_I send you on missions and dead bodies come are everywhere! I send to help out in the castle and dead bodies are everywhere! I send you on a _vacation_ and dead bodies are everywhere! Are you idiots DEFECTIVE?!_"

"He got what was coming to him."

"Agreed."

"But… Moyashi, I still don't get how you came back to life. I was sure you were… dead."

Allen turned red. "Err, well, let's just say I… um, heard your voice. And I, um, wanted to… see you… again. You can stop staring at me like that, Bakanda!" Squeaked Allen, turning even redder.

Kanda's face showed absolutely no emotion, and Allen fidgeted nervously. "Um, Kanda, you know, I kinda, um, have to help, with something. Err, I don't know what, but that something is super, y'know… uh…"

"Allen. Come here."

Allen obeyed, pulse going wild. "Um, um, um, is there someone calling for me?! I think I need—"

Kanda pressed his lips against Allen's in a sweet, chaste kiss, running his hands through the boy's hair, over his body, all of which he was sure he'd never see again. They broke apart, Allen speechless and Kanda pink in the cheeks.

"Kanda… you _do_ deserve to be with me. I wouldn't have it any other way." Allen murmured, pouting a bit. For the first time since the two had met, Kanda's face broke into a true smile, more beautiful than any other expression Allen had ever seen. He stared, enraptured, until Kanda pulled him onto the bed besides him and pinned the slender youth beneath him, his long silky hair around them like curtains. Allen could smell sakura and ivory soap again, and leaned closer to the samurai, caressing his neck and running his hands down the Japanese youth's back.

Kanda locked lips again, slowly unbuttoning the boy's shirt and removing it to reveal his smooth, marble body. Allen gasped at the feel of cool air on his hot skin, and then moaned as Kanda slid his tongue down to his navel, nipping at the hip and pulling down Allen's pants with his bare teeth.

"You're hard…" whispered Allen, nuzzling Kanda's chest.

"So are you…" said the samurai, and they kissed again.

The white-haired boy slid off Kanda's clothes as well, and, in the still infirmary room where the only sounds were of beating pulses and impassioned breathing, enjoyed each other, skin on skin, tongue upon tongue, and heart beside heart.

"K-Kanda," whimpered Allen, nearing climax, "I… always wanted my first time to… be with you."

The samurai made no sound but leaned in and bit down on the soft flesh of Allen's neck, loving the boy's pleasured mewls and thrust harder into the warmth that was the white-haired youth. Again and again they came, each time better than the next, 'til in the end they were spent, sheets stained curled around each other. As they slumbered, their love was evident, yet better off unexplained. The purity of their feelings was better off untouched by words.

Boy, was Komui going to have one hell of a surprise when Allen Walker and Kanda Yuu returned home.

--

IT IS OVER!!! XDDD

Thank you so much, all of the people who've read and/or commented on this story. I hope I satisfied you with the solving of the mystery and the love scene. This chapter took a while to write, but it was all completely worth it in the end. I want to apologize thoroughly for going MIA during part of this tale and how I made you guys wait a hell of a long time. I hope that the people who liked this story before will return and find out how it finishes!

Now, off to my other stories which I have neglected and abused… (Thank goodness there's no hot-line for people to call to report cases of fanfic abuse. XP)

La Lune de Fraise


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